I landed a 6-figure government job after leaving the military. It's high-stress and comes with many challenges — here's how I manage it.

• Ebony Grey is an Air Force veteran who works at the US Department of Housing and Urban Development.
• She works remotely and participates in therapy and different groups to stay connected to her network.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Ebony Grey, a 45-year-old management analyst at the US Department of Housing and Urban Development in Washington, DC. It's been edited for length and clarity.

I'm a management and senior policy analyst at the US Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) in Washington, DC. I have three degrees, including a Ph.D. and a master's certificate in project management and human capital.

My retired Marine father inspired me to pursue a military career from a young age. I joined the Air Force at 17, drawn by the camaraderie, professionalism, and global opportunities it offered.

My career in the Air Force was marked by leadership and resilience

I faced challenges like wartime service in Afghanistan and overcoming domestic violence, sexual trauma, sexism, and racism.

I worked primarily as an intelligence analyst and training manager throughout my service. My military experiences shaped my career and instilled a deep understanding of dedication and the ability to overcome adversity.

After transitioning from military to civilian life in 2012, I worked as a policy analyst and technical writer at Sage Management. In 2014, I joined HUD, where I've advanced IT policy and audit compliance. I earn a six-figure salary, but it's a stressful job.

The overwhelming stress from leadership demands and the isolation as one of the few female military veterans oftentimes is too much to bear

In my decade at HUD, I've faced significant professional and personal challenges, especially as one of the few women military veterans in a high-stakes government environment. The isolation in this role has been worse since the pandemic. It's tough to find connections and support at work.

To help with this, I attend biweekly therapy sessions and participate on the board for the HUD Veterans Affinity Group and ACT Now Education to network with and mentor veterans and military spouses.

The demands of my role often impact my personal life, affecting my sleep and relationships, with many nights spent sleeping less than three hours. I also faced medical challenges that required surgery, which led to my certification as a 100% disabled veteran in 2023.

I changed to my current position and was granted permission to work remotely from home permanently at the end of 2023. This adjustment has significantly reduced my stress levels and improved my productivity. I love my new role and would've left to pursue a fully remote role if this didn't happen at HUD.

A typical day for me is a mix of strategic oversight and detailed software license management

I work 40 to 50 hours a week. My responsibilities include reviewing IT policies, managing a team of six, and leading the governance of HUD's software management program.

I've faced unnecessary roadblocks to accomplishing my job, like sexism, which I addressed through the Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) process. I work around these challenges by building relationships with other program offices within HUD to collaborate and get the work done. Within the HUD Veterans Affinity Group, we established the Women's Group to talk monthly with and support women veterans.

I prioritize my self-care routine and schedule time for relaxation and hobbies to maintain balance. I use my home gym, including a Peloton bike, for stress relief during the workday.

I also practice transcendental meditation to center myself and schedule regular date nights with my husband. These practices are crucial for maintaining my mental and physical health.

My journey highlights the importance of overcoming personal and systemic challenges to pave the way for others in similar positions

I highly encourage professionals seeking a government position to join professional organizations and employee readiness groups for support.

Understanding the value of advocates in navigating a federal career, I co-authored a book titled "A Guide to Unlocking Federal Employment: Identifying & Developing Your Path for Success" to simplify the federal employment process for veterans, military spouses, and prospective government employees.

I've served on multiple board positions within the Veterans Affinity Group, Federally Employed Women, Blacks in Government, African American Federal Executive Association, and Young Government Leaders. These opportunities provided me with a huge network of resources.

If I could give advice to myself 10 years ago, it would be to secure a mentor and build a strong network early. I would also find a stakeholder willing to advocate for me, not be afraid to pivot and leave my organization for better opportunities, and sign up earlier for a leadership development program.