How to convince people you're interesting, according to the psychologist who says he identified the world's most boring person
- If you want to convince people you're not boring, be strategic about how you frame what you do.
- That's according to the psychologist who identified the jobs and hobbies seen to be most boring.
Boredom, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. That's according to Wijnand Van Tilburg, senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Essex.
Earlier this year, he was part of a team who identified the "world's most boring person" — or more so the jobs, hobbies, and behaviors perceived to be the most boring.
The aim was to identify the traits that people are quick to stereotype, and how these could impact anyone who is labeled as a bore. According to research, the world's most boring person works in data science, watches a lot of TV, and lives in a small town.
Usefully, the study also gave Van Tilburg an understanding of how an "uninteresting" person might go about changing that perception.
If you want people to think you're less boring, frame the way they see you, he suggests. That's because there are a lot of inconsistencies in the stereotypes people see as boring, he said.
For example, if Van Tilburg were to describe himself as a scientist, he would fall into the branch of the most exciting occupations, according to the findings. However, if he said that 90% of his day was spent conducting data analysis the impression would be the opposite.
"So in that way by framing it by using the right terms, it might be easier to avoid having that negative stereotype being applied," he told Insider.
By that logic, you don't sit around and watch movies, you're a cinephile; you don't live in a boring suburb but in an up-and-coming community.
"It's a bit more strategic," Van Tilburg said.
Boredom is both positive and negative — it really depends on the context
Van Tilburg is a self-labeled "boredom expert," who has dedicated the last 15 years of his career to researching it. It first piqued his interest as a Ph.D. student looking for a new way to research the psychology behind the meaning of life.
The fact that for many of us the idea of work has become increasingly tied up in the notion of finding purpose and meaning in our lives and careers, is one reason why Van Tilburg agrees there is such an interest in the idea of being boring. Another is that it is so trivial and something that everyone experiences.
Van Tilburg generally agrees with the definition of boredom as an "adverse feeling that there is something to get on with, but you can't seem to find satisfactory activity."
On the one hand, boredom is a "functional experience" that pushes one to explore new things and, as one study suggests, can encourage divergent thinking, he said.
On the other, it can be a "double-edged sword" that encourages risk-taking and can push us to quit our job without thinking of the consequences, for example.
Other research into how it plays out in a workplace suggests that when people are bored their performance is worse. They may also be more likely to consider stealing things from them.
"There is nothing wrong with boredom, in principle, but it does have quite a range of different impacts on people's lives," Van Tilburg told Insider. These can be negative, as his research found.
Participants not only perceived boring people to be less competent but they were more likely to want to avoid them.
Any evidence that this has a direct impact on a person's career is anecdotal but Van Tilburg said he wouldn't be surprised if someone who did fit the boring stereotype wasn't affected in some way.
"It's not just that people make snap judgments when you first meet someone. You don't even get the chance to potentially meet someone right?" he said. That's potentially problematic in the workplace because it may be difficult to change and challenge any stereotype that has been formed, he added.
Tilburg has one resounding lesson everyone should take from the study: put more effort into meeting people you don't know.
"The obvious thing is that people should always question their stereotypes," he said.