How to build unshakable confidence no matter what life throws at you, according to 11 entrepreneurs who have faced it all
- The Oracles is a networking group of the world's most prominent entrepreneurs and CEOs.
- As successful businesspeople, they know that confidence is the key to success, regardless of the industry you're in or whether or not you want to pursue a different career path.
- It's important to build inner confidence, through meditation and positive affirmations, as well as outer confidence by continually developing skills and building competence in order to excel at your job.
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Confidence is key to success. But how do you develop it and maintain it when things don't go your way? These captains of industry and Advisors in The Oracles share their best advice for building confidence that is unshakable, no matter what life throws at you.
1. Pursue something you believe in wholeheartedly
Conviction creates confidence. I have so much energy because I so deeply believe in my impact and have zero doubts about my execution. You have to believe in what you're doing, surround yourself with people who push you and have similar aspirations, and avoid those who bring you down. On top of that, consume content from experts, face your fears headfirst, and develop gratitude.
— Gary Vaynerchuk, founder and CEO of VaynerX, five-time New York Times bestselling author of "Crushing It!"
2. Convert setbacks into fuel
Recognize that setbacks are actually gifts which set you up for even greater success. The bigger the setback, the bigger the springboard. They always come with a lesson that gives me the energy to push forward. While you might get emotionally wrecked for 36 hours or three days after a major setback, it then fuels you to make things happen. Choose to see negative experiences as opportunities to turn losses into wins.
— Grant Cardone, founder of Cardone Capital, a $2 billion real estate empire. Follow Grant on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
3. Focus on what you can control
Anyone pursuing big goals will face rejection, self-doubt, and hard times. Don't get discouraged: Pick yourself up, and try again. Be empowered knowing that the struggle is a normal part of the process. It may feel like hard times are due to factors outside your control, but that's not true. If you visualize what you want to achieve and focus on what you can control, such as your strategy, you'll find that you have the power to change the outcome.
— Melanie Perkins, cofounder and CEO of Canva, valued at over $3 billion, one of the youngest female CEOs leading a billion-dollar company
4. Build your competence one day at a time
Confidence comes from competence. The better you get at your job, the more confident you'll be. To master your craft, you have to put in the work after hours. When you tell yourself you'll do something, do it — today, then tomorrow, and the day after that. Take it one step at a time, day by day. Learn to "untangle the angles" around every corner until you start to keep your promises to yourself. Once you trust yourself, your confidence will soar, and everyone will see it. This leads to more conversations, more opportunities, and exceptional relationships based on trust and confidence — especially your relationship with yourself.
— Matt Mead, founder and CEO at Drivonic, cofounder of Mead Holdings Group, The Epek Companies, and Grayson Pierce Capital
5. Meditate
When you love and respect yourself, it's hard to break your confidence. Attach to something higher than yourself, whether that's God, nature, or your yoga master. I use meditation to connect to a higher power and myself in the morning and before bed, even if it's just for five minutes. I start with a gratitude prayer and breathe in love and breathe out negativity. This quiet time restores calm that is critical during tough times. Continuously challenge yourself to grow and push forward. You must make yourself uncomfortable to feel comfortable. No pain, no gain.
— Holly Parker, founder and CEO of The Holly Parker Team at Douglas Elliman, award-winning broker who has made over $8 billion in sales. Connect with Holly on LinkedIn and Instagram.
6. Create a board of advisors for your life
Confusion kills confidence, so be incredibly selective about who you listen to. Life is challenging enough without conflicting opinions from friends, family, and social media. I have one (and only one) mentor for each area of my life. I only take advice from them, which means I don't share my problems with my parents or friends. When things get rough, I pick one solution from my mentor and commit to it — which usually works. My confidence comes from knowing my next step, and having one advisor makes that easy.
— Corrie Elieff, cofounder and chairman at YESA, founder of Cardone Canada, currently the No. 1 global franchise partner for Cardone Training Technologies
7. Practice affirmations
When the feds were calling me and I was being sued for $500 million, I found that you just have to laugh, cry, and pick up the pieces. No matter what you're facing, the only solution is to stop complaining and blaming others, and soldier on. No one will save you but you. Breathe and tackle one issue at a time. Yard by yard, it's hard — but inch by inch, it's a cinch.
Silence the negative voices in your head and reassure your mind with affirmations, replacing "I" with "me." So, instead of "I am confident, I can do this," say, "Me is confident, me can do this." It doesn't sound right, but "me" hits deeper because it's hardwired into your subconscious. Then do the Rocky victory pose, jump around and get some exercise, and you will feel better immediately.
— James Daily, founding partner of Daily Law Group, which helps high-profile clients with fiduciary abuse litigation, including fraud, crisis management, and business and family disputes; connect with James on LinkedIn
8. Welcome uncomfortable situations
Everyone faces challenges. As motivational speaker T. Harv Eker explains, successful people have fear, doubts, and worries just like everyone else; but they don't let that stop them. Being prepared for tough times begins with your psychology. Train your mind to welcome uncomfortable situations as developmental tools.
Unshakable confidence comes from a solid foundation built on faith in something dependable. If your confidence is based on external circumstances or validation, it will be shaky. Mine is rooted in my relationship with God and love for my family. With that security, I can find immovable strength and perspective within to handle all of life's curveballs.
— Tom Shieh, CEO of Crimcheck, advisory board member to Defy Ventures, and advisor to Tiny Devotions. Connect with Tom on Facebook.
9. Keep your word to yourself
If you feel like an imposter, it's often because you don't trust yourself, which lowers your self-esteem. Confidence is a byproduct of credibility with yourself, which you create by keeping your promises to yourself, big and small. Stack small wins throughout the day, then stack those days on top of each other. Wake up with your alarm instead of hitting snooze, and complete your to-do list. If you commit to working out five days a week, do it. This proves to your subconscious that you are a person of your word. Then when you have to make a big decision, you'll do it with confidence.
— Bedros Keuilian, founder of Fit Body Boot Camp, a high-profit, scalable gym franchise driven by impact. Connect with Bedros on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.
10. Try things and fail
You must have courage to ideate and create. No one is born with courage — you develop it when you fail or things don't go your way, and when you acknowledge that the punishment is never as bad as we fear. Failure is not absolute, so embrace it. The challenges that result from failure force you to figure out solutions. Over time, you become confident that no matter what happens, you can figure it out. But you cannot fail if you don't try — so first, you have to try.
— Jonathan Goodman, founder of the Personal Trainer Development Center and the first-ever certification for online fitness training, the Online Trainer Academy. Connect with Jonathan on Facebook and Instagram.
11. Believe in yourself
We are entrepreneurs because we want to shake stuff up and make big things happen. We are at our best when we are living in stupid confidence; so even if life throws you a curveball, trust that you know how to handle it. Breathe, think, and take a calculated step toward a solution. Ask mentors for advice if you need to, but ultimately, trust yourself and your gut!
— Michelle Luchese, cofounder and chief product officer of wedding band company Manly Bands. Connect with Michelle on LinkedIn.
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