Diversity, equity, and inclusion consultants share a script to respond to racist microaggressions at work so you know exactly what to say in the moment

• A microaggression is a subtle, indirect and often unintentional statement or act that's racist or otherwise prejudice.
• If you're wondering how to respond to a racist microaggression in the workplace, experts tell Business Insider to follow a few steps.
• The first step is to take a moment to breathe and make sure you're not angry.
• Secondly, consider the risks of speaking up, as well as those of not speaking up.
• Consider talking to HR about it, if you feel safe, or a trusted ally who you work with.
• If you can, bring an ally with you when you approach the person, as your words may be misunderstood or misconstrued.
• Follow a script that doesn't attack the person, but expresses how the statement hurt you.

Microaggressions, by definition, are subtle, indirect, and often unintentional acts of racism or prejudice.

There are many examples, but some common microaggressions include someone telling a Black colleague that he's "so articulate," asking a Black colleague to touch her hair, or making a joke about a colleague's name.

So if you've just experienced a microaggression. How do you respond?

Ideally, you're in a workplace that normalizes responding to microaggressions, as tackling systemic racism needs leadership promoting and exemplifying a company's values. It's also helpful to be in a workplace where bystanders stand up and take action so the work of educating someone about a microaggression doesn't always fall on BIPOC people (Black, indigenous, people of color).

Even still, Derald Wing Sue, a professor of counseling psychology at Columbia University, researcher, and author of multiple books on diversity and racism, calls microaggressions "death by a thousand paper cuts," to capture how often people of color experience them, and how much damage dealing with them can cause.

Indeed, microaggressions can stir up a range of emotions: hurt, anger, even trauma. All of these feelings are valid.

There is no one right way to respond to a microaggression, sources tell Business Insider. But there are a few things to consider and potentially do or say when confronted with the situation.

First, take a moment (or several) to breathe.

Tiffany Jana — diversity, equity, and inclusion strategist and co-author of the book "Subtle Acts of Exclusion," — said the best tactical advice is to simply pause. According to Jana, who uses they/them pronouns, two things are going to happen in the immediate aftermath of a microaggression.

"One, you're immediately going to move into fight or flight, into a protective mode that causes you to not even be able to access your rational thinking," they said. In other words, you're more likely to act unprofessionally or in a way that could hurt your career.

And secondly, you're going to become "very keenly aware" of the power dynamics in your organization. Was it a person of power who said the microaggression?

"So depending on who it is, saying anything in that moment could cost you your next promotion, could cost you your next raise," they added.

If you can, (and if you want to) proceed with caution.

Excuse yourself and go to the restroom, do a lap around your workspace. Take some time to address the feelings you're experiencing without lashing out.

Consider the potential risks of speaking up, and those of not speaking up.

It's a sad reality, but Jana underscored that calling out a racist microaggression can be professionally risky.

"Saying anything to someone with authority, or even a peer, particularly a white peer, is particularly dangerous because Black and brown people are very quick to be labeled by others as 'troublemakers,' as 'hypersensitive,'" Jana said.

There's also the risk of retaliation if the organization at which you work isn't inclusive.

"This is not a simple task. You are risking your job," they said.

Dion Bullock, equity, inclusion, and belonging strategy lead at career coaching company Bravely agreed that there are risks. He also added that there is a lot of work that goes into responding to a microaggression.

There's a lot of emotional labor that goes into educating someone else and in thinking about how to approach the situation, he said, which is something to consider.

Mull over these questions, he suggested: Is this a professional relationship I care about? Or would I rather just brush it off and ignore the person? Is this the first time it's happened, or is this a recurring problem? Were there witnesses to the microaggression? Do I feel my human resources department would understand me if I approached them? Is there a culture of respect, or is retaliation common?

Then ask yourself another important question: What am I risking if I don't speak up? Am I risking feeling unsafe or stressed in my work environment? There are real consequences at stake. Research shows that experiencing racism correlates with higher blood pressure. The mere expectation of a racist encounter raises a person's stress level.

Above all, remember you absolutely have the right to speak up and to be treated fairly.

If you're unsure about how to proceed, talk to someone.

If you're unsure about how to proceed, Bullock suggested reaching out to a professional coach to talk about the situation with an independent third-party. You could also talk to a trusted friend or ally within the company who may be able to give you advice. This is especially important if your trusted ally was also a witness to the situation, so they could back up if the situation escalates.

Jana added that if you feel safe, you can approach your HR representative before having the conversation and tell them of your plans to professionally and politely approach the person. If you'd like to have the conversation in front of the HR person, that is an option, too.

If you don't feel comfortable approaching HR, bring an ally with you to be nearby or in the same room.

Even if you approach the situation with the utmost professionalism and grace, the person who you're speaking to may misunderstand you, or worse, misconstrue what you say, Jana said. So ask an ally to come with you, and tell them it'd make you feel safer if they were nearby or in the same room. This way, you have a witness should the person misstate what you said to HR.

You could ask your friend at work to join you by saying this, Jana recommends: "Hey, do you think you could come with me or be nearby when I approach [Y]? I'd really love the moral support."

"The reality of the danger that calling any of this out is for BIPOC people is very real," they said.

Follow this sample script.

Even if it's difficult, it does help to assume the other person had good intentions, Jana said.

Jana suggests saying something like: "Hey listen, you might not be aware of the impact of what you said the other day, but I just wanted to let you know that [X statement] hurt me. I've always known you to be a thoughtful, kind person, so I just wanted to make you aware of this because I'm almost certain you didn't know that that was a harmful thing to say."

Bullock provided another example: "I understand that you just shared that I'm extremely articulate, and I want to thank you for sharing that as a compliment. I also want you to recognize that articulate has a long history especially when spoken to a Black person, and when thinking about being called 'articulate,' there is the assumption that Black people are not generally articulate, therefore this an outlier. And for me that is harmful because I don't want to be seen as the outlier. I want to make sure that when you're thinking about me being articulate, you're not using it as a way to distance me from other Black people and the success that they have. So I'm wondering, even though I know that wasn't your intent, even though I recognize that this was a compliment for you, I'm wondering what was coming up for you there? Can you tell me more about what you were thinking there?"

Try not to indict the person's character by saying "you're racist" or "that was a racist thing to do," as the person will likely immediately become defensive. Instead, focus on how the statement impacted you, Bullock said.

"We can debate days upon days about whether or not something you said was racist or not. You can't debate me on the harm that happened to me," Bullock said.