Couples are fighting more during quarantine, but my husband and I have used the time to get better at handling conflict — here are 4 tricks that are working for us

Melissa Petro and her husband have been sheltering in place with their two children.melissa.petro/Instagram

• Melissa Petro is a freelance writer who lives with her husband and two children in New York City.
• During their time in lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Petro and her husband have had moments of bickering and miscommunication — but they're working on better ways to deal with marital conflict.
• With the help of a therapist, Petro and her husband are learning the importance of taking accountability and showing appreciation to each other.
• She recommends avoiding a "harsh startup" when opening a conversation so that you're more likely to elicit help rather than defensiveness.
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My husband and I have a strong relationship: We're totally committed to one another, we share fondness and admiration, and we enjoy one another's company. Even after over a month of lockdown, there's no one with whom I'd rather shelter in place.

There is one way, however, in which our relationship doesn't always work fabulously, and that is how we deal with conflict.

While we're sharing space with one another 24/7, even minor annoyances have the potential to snowball into epic blowouts. Negativity can linger for days, and it wears away at marital morale.

According to researchers at University of Michigan, couples are arguing more as a consequence of the global COVID-19 pandemic. The team accredits the uptick to economic uncertainty, likening today's climate to the financial crisis of 2008.

Unlike some couples, our relationship is not in crisis — in fact, in many ways, my family is functioning better than ever. Still, we don't have energy for bickering, and so — with the help of our family therapist — we're learning strategies to help us manage disagreements and resolve tensions when they arise.