An executive coach who worked with Nelson Mandela and the last leader of the Soviet Union, says CEOs must realize they will always upset 'a large bunch of people every day'

• René Carayol, an executive coach for more than 20 years, said CEOs can never make everyone happy.
• Carayol has mentored high-profile clients including Nelson Mandela and Mikhail Gorbachev.

René Carayol, an executive coach for more than 20 years who once worked with Nelson Mandela, said a CEO's biggest mistake would be believing they can make everyone happy.

Carayol has a high-profile list of clients, including world leaders and CEOs at Fortune 500 and FTSE 100 companies. He's advised four former CEOs of Barclays Bank and even former Soviet leader, Mikhail Gorbachev.

"When you become chief executive, you walk into the cockpit of a plane, you have never flown that plane before, and you're going to fly it from day one," Carayol told Insider.

"My job is to help you get off the ground, keep it off the ground, and land it back exactly where you want it," he said.

Often, Carayol isn't approached until there is a problem. "I get the call when the bat sign goes up and you want Batman," he said.

Coaches are increasingly in demand because of the changing role of leaders since the pandemic. The estimated global total revenue from coaching was $2.8 billion, the most recent report by International Coaching Federation found.

The number of coaches has also steadily been on the rise, with ICF membership accelerating from 33,739 in 2018 to 50,748 in 2022.

Carayol's mentee says coaching is worth the cost

One of Carayol's former mentees is Philippe Maso, an insurance professional who began his career in the 1990s and has worked as the CEO of AXA UK, Aviva France, and currently Ornikar. He said it's worth consulting a professional because the advice of friends and colleagues is often biased.

"When you enter into something too close to a friendship, you know that the feedback will be biased consciously or unconsciously," Maso said.

"The paying relationship is securing the fact that there is a service that has to be delivered. The service is: 'I will be an honest partner in this relationship and that will not fade away, sharing with you your sins and your difficulties, alongside all the good things that you do,'" he added.

While coaching can't fundamentally change a person's characteristics, it can help you become more aware of how to make an impact. "The impact is not always the one that you were looking for, and the exchange with the coach is the mirror that will help you see that," Maso said.

Tapping emotional intelligence

Carayol's motto is "EQ not IQ," referring to the importance of the emotional quotient over the intelligence quotient in leadership.

"On the IQ side, they're the best in class," he said about his mentees. "I think where I might be able to bring something is on the EQ side, empathy."

Ten to 15 years ago, a leader of a top company was often "the cleverest man in the room" and controlled every decision.

However, the COVID-19 pandemic ushered in a new era of work and Carayol had to adapt his coaching style to promote inclusivity and collaboration.

"Now the role of the leader is to create an environment where anyone, no matter what their background, no matter what their experience or qualifications, can come to their place of work with their authentic self," Carayol said.

The CEOs he coaches have had to make some of the same decisions to lay off staff as notable figures like Salesforce's CEO Marc Benioff or Twitter's Elon Musk.

Benioff, who announced plans to cut 10% of its global workforce in January, angered staff by reportedly showing up late to meetings and dodging questions about layoffs.

Musk laid off roughly half of Twitter's 8,000 staff after his takeover in October and has been sporadically cutting jobs since, with some employees only finding out after being locked out of their email and laptops.

Carayol is helping clients make such decisions compassionately by acknowledging that affected employees have done their best and also have livelihoods to consider.

'The toughest job in the company'

CEOs have to make several difficult decisions every day, and if they get 50% of them right then they've succeeded, Carayol said.

"The biggest mistake you can make is believing you can please all of the people all of the time," he said." You cannot. Inherent and implicit in the role is you are upsetting a large bunch of people every day. But the line I give to all of my clients is if you're bold, you might fail. If you're not bold, you will fail," he said.

One of his mentees, whose identity he did not reveal for privacy reasons, had to make a tough call to lay off staff. The mentee delivered an "incredibly honest" presentation about the situation to the company, and received a round of applause at the end for his authenticity, he said.

"When they left, he just slumped into a chair," Carayol recalled. "We served him some Jasmine tea and he didn't say a word for 25 minutes, not one word, and I sat there."

"Then he spoke and said, 'Look, how do you think it went today?' And I gave him some supportive words. And he sat down for a further 15 minutes and didn't say anything.

"When he got up to leave, he looked at me and said, 'One of the best bits of advice you ever gave me is to never take it home with me. My family doesn't deserve me in that mood. Thank you for sitting with me.'"