An au pair for wealthy families shares the highs and lows of the unpredictable job

• Angel Hutchinson, a South African au pair, has cared for one child in Maryland since 2019.
• Hutchinson has worked for four wealthy families since 2015, facing both challenges and perks.

Angel Hutchinson, 31, was born and raised in Durban, South Africa, but now lives in Maryland, where she's worked as an au pair for almost five years.

Hutchinson's current employers are the fourth wealthy family she's worked for stateside since September 2015. She's parlayed those experiences into a successful side hustle on TikTok, helping other would-be au pairs follow in her footsteps.

She told Business Insider that the difference between an au pair and a nanny is in the scope of the role. "An au pair is like a cousin who lives with you and is part of the family — when they go out for dinner, you all go out for dinner," she said. "I'm the extra eyes for the parents."

Hutchinson has had negative and positive experiences — in some families, she felt unwelcome and overworked, but in others, she's been whisked off on snowboarding trips and vacations in Puerto Rico.

The job is quite low-paying, but there are perks

Overseas applicants will likely be recruited under the J-1 visa rules. "It doesn't count as a job. It's more like a cultural exchange program, often below minimum wage. It is peanuts," she said.

She said au pairs are not allowed to be required to work nights, in particular, but will typically work 45 hours per week and a maximum of 10 hours a day.

Board and lodging are covered, but wages are considered pocket money: the State Department has set a current minimum of $225.00 per week. Some more seasoned au pairs, she said, make $300-350.

She earns more than this because she negotiated a higher than minimum wage. "Au pairs are allowed to negotiate for more; however, most families pay this because au pairs are afraid to speak up."

The application process is rigorous but straightforward

Hutchinson studied theology and planned to go into ministry full-time. "My family felt I was wasting my life by coming to live with another family, but I was frustrated with life at that moment. I was in a relationship but wasn't sure if I wanted to get married yet. So I was like, OK, I'm going to find out."

Hutchinson's interest in becoming an au pair was sparked by her college dean, who talked fondly of her experiences as an au pair in America two decades earlier. "She still spoke with her family, who would visit her."

She filled out the forms and paid fees to one of the many agencies she found online — around 1300 ZAR, or about $70. She had to have a driver's license and a high school education and undergo medical checks.

Once accepted, she was asked to upload a profile, including a video, which interested families could browse. Typically, they would video chat with a potential au pair from afar before hiring one for a 12-month position.

Hutchinson was unhappy with her first two families

Hutchinson's first employers didn't ring alarm bells until she landed in America. "I remember getting a tour of the house, and when I was done, they told me to go unpack my stuff in my room. I closed the door and bawled my eyes out," she said. "I just felt like something was off."

This couple were wealthy Indian-Americans in New Jersey; the father was a pharmaceutical VP, and the mother a medical director. There were two children, aged 13 and 6, where the latter was Hutchinson's prime focus. "It felt like they were unprepared for me or had forgotten I was coming in the three months since we last spoke."

The main issue was a misunderstanding of her role, stretching the definition of childcare. "I had to water the plants — because they were the kid's favorite. I had to dust the cupboard — because the kid's doll was on top of it."

She also struggled to connect with the kids, as they would speak Bengali to their parents. She quickly asked for a rematch (au pair speak for resigning). "They said you can't go because we've already had two girls leave before you."

A week later, Hutchinson's father died, and she was offered compassionate leave to return to South Africa for the funeral. Once home, she rematched there, returning three weeks later to a different family, but not a better situation.

This was another New Jersey-based family, with two school-age kids of 5 and 8, a mother who worked as a deputy principal, and a father who ran a tech business. The mom had described her kids to Hutchinson as "having a lot of energy."

The truth was more complicated: Her special needs kids were in therapy and rarely able to play with other au pairs' children at the playground. The daughter was particularly difficult for Hutchinson to care for.

The third family was a better fit

By January 2016, Hutchinson was primed to return to South Africa, but she tried to rematch one last time. This family proved life-changing. "I still visit them to this day," she said.

This Colorado-based couple, both anesthesiologists, had a 9-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son. They lived in the mountains and drove a nine-seater Denali. "We went on vacation a lot. They're a snowboarding family, so they taught me, and we went camping."

She never felt pressured to work late and could come and go as she pleased. Hutchinson felt very much at home in the Rockies. "The people were so welcoming in Colorado — it's by far the best place I lived."

She went back to South Africa, but it wasn't a forever move

After that stay, she went home. Two years later, after spending time in South Africa looking after a boy for a German family in her neighborhood, she decided to come back to the States.

A different, wealthy family spotted her video and asked if she'd consider coming to live with them in Maryland. The mother was a thoracic surgeon, and the father was a VP. They had one young child, barely 6 at the time.

The moment she arrived in September 2019, Hutchinson felt at home. "They were overprepared, trying to ensure I had the best time ever."

Almost five years later, Hutchinson is so settled with them that she's more like a surrogate daughter. They buy her a pair of the family's matching pajamas at Christmas, and she's always invited to family gatherings. "The only time I don't do something with them is if I don't want to."

She also drives a brand-new VW Jetta. "In other families, you have to share a car to go to the store or have to ask. This one said 'We bought this car for you to use. You can have freedom and a sense of independence. Come and go when you want.'"

She doesn't work weekends, which frees her up to socialize. "All the people I now call my best friends are Americans I met at church." Hutchinson said it's partly because her principles in life align with those of her current employer that she finds the job so rewarding.

She decided to make America her permanent home

Hutchinson is currently waiting for approval for her green card, which those employers sponsored. She's applied via her visa, this time an EB-3, or skilled worker.

She's still waiting on paperwork, but once her au pair time concludes, she plans to pursue a different path. "I've always been fascinated with the tech world. I'm hoping to pursue a career in that industry."

Want to share your story? Email Lauryn Haas at lhaas@businessinsider.com.