15 Etiquette Rules For Dining At Fancy Restaurants

It's just common sense. It distracts not only your other dining companions, but also your waiter and the entire restaurant.

"The host, especially if it's a woman, has to make it clear that he or she is the host," Napier-Fitzpatrick told us.

"Say phrases like, 'Will you please bring my guest...' or 'My guest would like to order first' to ward off confusion."

"A savvy host knows to give their credit card before they sit down, or even call the restaurant ahead of time," Napier-Fitzpatrick explained. "I tell that especially to women who travel to other countries that are very male-dominated."

"Also, the person who invites is the person who pays."

"Tell the waiter what you like, what you're having, and give them an idea of price by simply pointing to a wine in your price range," Napier-Fitzpatrick advised. "The waiter will know to stick within that price point."

"I also tell people not to pretend you're a wine connoisseur, because then you'll look silly. Just take a little taste of the wine when it arrives, and see how it is."

"Nine times out of 10 it's just fine."

"The protocol is you have to keep it even if you don't like it because they opened the bottle for you," Napier-Fitzpatrick said.

"However, if it really is awful, you don't have to keep it. Politely explain the problem to your waiter."

"Everyone's starting to do that now," Napier-Fitzpatrick laughed. "If it's not distracting other restaurant patrons and you can do it discretely, I would say it's okay."

"But if I was having dinner with a client, I would not recommend it. If the client wanted to take pictures, however, I would of course let them."

"Wait until your host makes the silent signal of placing the napkin in his or her lap before you begin eating," she said. "Then the napkin goes on your chair seat if you stand up [to use the restroom]."

"When you're finished with the meal, it goes on the left-hand side of where your plate would have been — not folded, but neatly placed. Wait for the host to be the first to do so."

"I don't recommend sharing if you're with someone you don't know very well, or if you're at a formal business meal," she warned.

"If you're with someone you know better, pass them your bread plate with a little sample of food on it."

"Try to make eye contact with your waiter," Napier-Fitzpatrick advised.

"If that doesn't work, put up your right hand with your index finger raised slightly to get their attention."

"If you are with other people and you have to send your food back, it's your responsibility to tell everyone to go ahead and start without you," Napier-Fitzpatrick said.

"And if I'm the host, I suffer and eat my meal even if it's not cooked the way I want rather than have everybody have to wait for me or feel bad."

This avoids awkwardness and allows you to pace yourself with the other person.

Make sure to take your time eating and pause after every few bites — especially if you're the host, since you don't want to make your guest feel rushed during the meal.

"We call it a silent service code for the wait staff," Napier-Fitzpatrick said. "When you're finished, place the knife and fork together at the 10:20 position on the plate."

"Place the fork up because in the American style you eat with the tines up."

Here's a good example.

"Business should not be discussed until the meal has been cleared away," Napier-Fitzpatrick warned.

"Also, generally avoid complaining about business colleagues and work during the meal."

• Wipe your fingers and mouth often with your napkin.
• Cut one piece of meat or fish at a time on your plate and eat it before cutting the next one.
• Butter bread on your plate, never in midair.
• Look into (not over) the cup or glass when drinking.
• Sit up straight, and keep your arms (including elbows) off the table.

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