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  3. Art Cashin Remembers Miley Cyrus And Rob Ford In The Same Rhyming Stanza In His Hilarious New Year's Poem

Art Cashin Remembers Miley Cyrus And Rob Ford In The Same Rhyming Stanza In His Hilarious New Year's Poem

Sam Ro   

Art Cashin Remembers Miley Cyrus And Rob Ford In The Same Rhyming Stanza In His Hilarious New Year's Poem
Finance7 min read

Art Cashin, UBS's veteran NYSE trader and indisputable Wall Street legend, has a couple of traditions.

Among his more popular traditions are his year-end poems, wrapping up highlights from the year.

Cashin just circulated his latest:

'Tis two days yet to New Year

but despite what you're hopin'

The folks in the Board Room

say "the full Eve we'll stay open"

So we'll buy and we'll sell

as the tape crawls along

And though "Bubbly's" verboten

we may still sing a song

Two Thousand Thirteen

had some spots of high hopes

They may get fumbled away

by those Washington dopes

A brief government shutdown

pushed sides further apart

Let's all hope things improve

as the New Year we start

"If you like it you can keep it"

we heard the President quip

When that didn't work out

in the polls he did slip

We lost special people

as we seem to each year

It just makes us treasure

each one that's still here

Mandela and Thatcher

they reshaped their times

They'll now regale the angels

backed by heavenly chimes

And Peter O'Toole

with his steely blue eyes

Joined the great Joan Fontaine

in God's still bluer skies

Jean Stapleton's "Edith"

has joined Archie on high

And author Tom Clancy

chose October to die

Ed Koch now asks angels

his set quote, "How'm I doin"

Gone is Hugo Chavez

who brought his nation to ruin

Helen Thomas asks questions

of St. Peter these days

Also Frank Lautenberg

left his senator's ways

Jim Hall, jazz guitarist,

played his final great note

Richie Havens, quite different

is now in the same boat

Ray Harryhausen, who

created creatures unreal

Joined Jonathan Winters

every scene he would steal

Van Cliburn's piano

angels hear without faults

As Patti Page sings them

the old Tennessee Waltz

And Frost re-met Nixon

midst the clouds they'll debate

While Tony Soprano

while in Rome met his fate

Scott Carpenter and angels

now together will sup

Roger Ebert gave the harp

a quite hearty thumbs up

Esther Williams swam off

Eydie Gorme took a bow

And Annette Funicello

has joined them both now

And Doctor Joyce Brothers

bid her clients goodbye

While "Dear Abby" Van Buren

gives advice from on high

In Boston, two brothers

put some bombs in a crowd

Although hundreds were injured

that great town stayed unbowed

Wild fires aplenty

burned in state after state

Elsewhere came tornadoes

seems Mother Nature's irate

The Philippines saw a cyclone

winds of 200 miles

Caused immense devastation

to those once lovely isles

A Bangladesh building

did collapse in the spring

Though a thousand folks died

few reforms did it bring

In Syria, chemicals

wiped out a whole town

In a mall in Nairobi

scores of folks were mowed down

FOMO is a slogan

it's "fear of missing out"

Now we're all self-absorbed

that's what that's all about

Wall Street saw stocks soar

but Main Street stayed slow

As the Fed starts to taper

we'll see just how things go

Jeff Bezos announced

a new delivery drone

Edward Snowden revealed

that we'd tapped Merkel's phone

Prince George did arrive

of pictures there was no lack

and sweet tooths were quite pleased

to see Twinkies come back

Paula Deen fell from grace

for some things she once said

The Duck Dynasty guy

made some people turn red

Former Hannah Montana

shocked some fans with a twerk

In Toronto the mayor

some folks called a jerk

Let not this year's memories

of sadness or sleaze

Disturb you this day

just give your heart ease

Have faith that this New Year

will bring a new sign

And believe in yourself

it will all work out fine

Just lift up your spirits

and some fruit of the vine

And kiss ye a loved one

and sing Auld Lange Syne

And late Tuesday evening

as you watch the ball fall

Wish yourself all the best

Happy New Year to All!!

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