Anger - probably the most feared word after ‘war.’ We have been told right from our growing up days that it is a negative emotion. However, it is only in the recent times that anger is being perceived as a problem that can be dealt with.
Anger wrecks havoc when it begins to ruin relationships, professional life and the person who is in the middle of it is left to deal with it, all alone.
What does one attribute anger to?
Social conditions such as unemployment, low GDP, political instability can all be the contributing factors to rising anger levels in the society.
If someone is not secure about his job, is living with an impending fear of losing the job and thus, being unable to take care of his/her family and commitments, does it not make a person vulnerable to a host of negative emotions? Those who learn to live in constant state of fear are bound to find a vent and that very well could be anger. But, how can anyone be in control when the realities are completely different from what he/she expected?
That apart, other range of reasons that contribute to anger could be purely personal, and personality-based. Chances of one being angry or resorting to anger-filled reactions more often than not are high if one has been a witness to such expression of negativity right from childhood. A child, who sees his/her parents constantly at each other’s throat, shouting, kicking, yelling and defending in loud voices disrespectfully, is bound to adapt such behaviour as an adult. Relationships also come under fire owing to anger and vice versa. Fragility in relationships can also lead to pent up frustration and violence that can in turn damage the family set up.
Workplace anger is something that nations have been struggling with, especially after industries were replaced with companies which needed people to learn to play by the new set of rules. Anger, which is also referred to as ‘workplace violence’ affects more than 42% people who display the rage at different occasions. Reasons for this could be both professional and domestic.
Anger often places an individual in a ‘Catch 22’ situation. Does negativity feed anger, or does anger breed negativity? Either way, anger and negativity can only harm everything around them. The result is often catastrophic. Let’s also consider a situation where anger is constructive. There are times when an individual feels ‘driven’ by anger to achieve something or attain something in a positive way. Anger turns into a challenge then. It is not vengeful.
Anger is destructive when it does not have even an ounce of constructiveness in it. Impulsive anger, without any direction or understanding of what causes it, can only take an individual towards destruction and it’s a downhill ride from there.
Those who are susceptible to anger have always found themselves at the mercy of this emotion that has overpowered them to dominate every facet of their life. Majority of them want to change this for themselves and for their family.
If you are one of them who has been dominated by anger but want to change things, here is what you can do. These are simple do-it-yourself tricks that can help you manage yourself better.
Acceptance
First, come to terms with your level of anger. It’s okay to be angry. But tell yourself you will work on it and emerge a better person. Go through your fears and apprehensions, whichever is making you feel nervous and is increasing your negativity. Face it bravely. You are on the road to recovery.
Practice
When you are angry, counting 100 is what our grandparents taught us. But there are some of those who will do the counting, too, in angry mode and preserve the negativity. Forget counting, anger simmers down with something as simple as deep breathing.
Start a fitness regime
Channelise those energy globules elsewhere, much to the benefit of your body. A fit body has a fit mind and no space for anger.
Respond, Don’t react
To those situations that tempt you to fly off the handle, pause and think. Does this need anger or will tactful thinking solve the problem? More times than not, you realise the latter is always the solution. Your bosses and colleagues will love you for this, so will the family!
Assertive communication
Those who are used to seeing you angry, will certainly not come to terms early on and may push the buttons. Trick is to not return to the starting point again. Be assertive and clear. Don’t fall for anything that will make you weaker. Maintain your balance, no matter what.