Suitsupply
Enter Suitsupply's new solution: The Race Case. It's a $599 suitcase with a scooter attached to it. Isn't that exactly what you asked for?
With their tongue firmly planted in their cheek, Suitsupply boasts about the case's features, which include:
A leather-covered handle ...
Suitsupply
... a solid scooter bottom ...
Suitsupply
... which folds up when you're ready to board.
Suitsupply
A surprisingly well-thought out interior awaits inside. On the outside, a leather face and nickle zippers complete the refined look of the bag.
Suitsupply
While the bag is quite a looker, there's no doubt it would attract a few stares from curious onlookers for reasons other than how attractive it is. Especially if you're scootering through the terminals as hard as this guy.
Suitsupply
How the front-heavy suitcase doesn't tip over, we'll never know. And shouldn't Suitsupply design a matching helmet?
Suitsupply assures Business Insider that this is a very real product, and they're taking preorders for it now. Their corporate team has apparently been using the case for almost a year, and they're already working on the next production run now.