The latest perpetrator, first spotted by The Cut, is Y/Project. The brand - created by people with a much better understanding of fashion than me - calls its $425 creation "detachable cut-out front jeans."
I call them "horrifying."
(Alternatively, I have also called them chaps-style, convertible jorts, which is pretty much the same thing.)
The worst part is, the chaps aren't the only damning denim creation Y/Project is rolling out.
Y/Project
It is also selling garters strap jeans for $505, which are quite possibly even worse. They look like they were created by someone who wanted to look sexy, but also wanted to outfit each leg in the button-up denim dress 50-year-old Midwestern middle school teachers wear.
I understand that these are more fashionable styles than a simple retail reporter could ever hope to comprehend. However, if I learned one thing from Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada," it is that these kinds of fashion statements often have a trickle down effect that ultimately end up altering the fate of mainstream fashion.
I'm not cool enough to buy things from Y/Project - and that's fine! However, I do buy things from Nordstrom, home of the now infamous fake dirt jeans, and Topshop, creator of the clear knee mom jeans.
Nordstrom
I wouldn't mind the handful of impractical jeans if ugly jeans weren't becoming the norm.
However, even tamer denim trends are going in a distinctly unflattering manner, with the rise of uncomfortable, high-waisted, wide leg jeans that Molly Fischer expertly describes in The Cut as having "the potential to be punishing both physically (you don't feel good) and visually (you don't look so good, either)."
Take this pair from Zara, which also features frayed hem (which, apparently, everyone loves now except me):
Zara
Fischer ultimately argues we need to learn to stop worrying and learn to love the ugly jean, as it will soon be seen as just another ordinary pair of jeans. And, she's probably right. In a few weeks, my denim will likely all be frayed, pre-muddied, and wide-legged.
But, I will never spend $425 on convertible denim jorts.
This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Business Insider.