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A marriage expert says doing these 3 things will help you have successful relationships, at home and at work

May 18, 2016, 21:57 IST

Flickr/Sebastiaan ter Burg

Forty hours a week is a lot of time to spend with someone you can't stand.

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What's more, not having friends at work can actually make you stupid.

That's why it's so important to foster positive relationships at work.

Psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman spent 40 years researching exactly what goes into healthy relationships, and he posited in his book, "The Relationship Cure," that the same principles that make marriage work also hold true for other kinds of relationships.

"Relationships in the workplace, including friendships, collegial relationships, and relationships with superiors or subordinates, are human relationships," Dr. Michael McNulty, a Master Trainer from the Gottman Institute and founder of The Chicago Relationship Center, tells Business Insider. "Much of the same advice given to spouses who seek to make their marriages work also applies to people who want good, productive relationships with their coworkers."

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According to Gottman's research, any relationship that involves people trying to live and work closely together should be built on trust and commitment and involve positivity, friendship, and successful conflict management.

"First and foremost, good friendships in a company occur when employees feel like they can trust one another," McNulty says. "Workers have to mostly feel like their bosses and coworkers are acting in their best interests or at least trying to. They have to feel like they have one another's backs. It is only then that they will feel safe and motivated to invest in their relationships in the workplace."

In love or at work, people who do these three things are most likely to have positive relationships:

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