onefinestay describes itself as an "unhotel" — users stay at someone else's place while they're away. The website has thousands of "hand-picked" properties. Mine was in Orsett Terrace in west London.
A concierge meets you there and snacks are laid out. Towels are folded nicely, toilet roll is given the corner treatment, and little mini pots of shampoo are available.
I was also given an iPhone loaded with the onefinestay app, which has lots of information and ideas about what to do myself while staying.
But the sofa looked too inviting to venture out, so I had a sit down. No need for the 24/7 hotline.
Just in case, I also spent some time testing the other sofa.
Soon I decided to properly explore. Through a long, whitewashed hallway I found the master bedroom, to the left.
The property had two bedrooms and worked out at £369 per night, per room, my concierge told me.
My room also had a dressing area hidden behind a wall.
This resident appreciates art, it seems.
And Sussex shipwrecks, apparently.
Here's the other bedroom, which went unused, but certainly looked nice — onefinestay explains that it picks the "finest homes," offers "pristine sheets," and holds "exacting standards."
The houses and apartments are still someone else's, though. And there were a few things I couldn't touch — marked by red tape.
The rules are clearly stated in the guestbook and handover notes.
This was the only upsetting tape. There was a drawer in the fridge with some Countrylife butter, and marmalade. No crumpets this time.
But it's still very relaxed. And given the fact it's west London, where lots of people own second homes, there weren't many areas off-limits.
I had company, so decided to cook a chickpea and tomato stew for dinner.
The only issue I had was the lack of a tin opener, which quickly put down any chickpea-related plans. I must note that onefinestay responded instantly when I tweeted.
But it wasn't a big deal. I pulled myself together and made a couple of omelettes.
Using the rather lovely cooker.
After two nights I had to go, which was upsetting, because the place was nice and I'd grown rather fond of it.
And I know I'm probably never going to be able to afford to live in Bayswater, where the art is fanciful.
When leaving you simply have to leave the iPhone on charge and keys on the table.
I mean, look: Despite it being a weekday, there were no queues at the local Tube station.
But I'll get over it. There's always onefinestay again.
