Here we begin, with roughly $45.00 worth of Dairy Queen food items.
First up, the mushroom Swiss "GrillBurger".
There are myriad problems with this burger. The patty is burned, the bun is soggy, and the Swiss cheese is half-way melted on one side of the burger.
What was that rubbery thing we bit into? Oh, that's a mushroom. The texture of the burger is very unsettling. Other than the texture and charred taste, it's quite flavorless.
Now, the chili cheese hot dog from Dairy Queen.
Our first reaction after eating this: it tastes like it's three weeks old.
This hot dog tastes like dried sausage — and that taste overpowers the skimpy amount of chili and cheese on the hot dog. The meat is really tough and it's unenjoyable to even attempt to eat.
The crispy fish sandwich is under the "favorites" on the menu at Dairy Queen. As to whose favorite it is, we don't know.
It's certainly not our favorite. At first the protein was a mystery, with one taste tester quipping: "I can't tell where the chicken and bread end and begin — oh wait, this is fish..."
The crispy fish sandwich is a mess. The soggy lettuce, the copious amount of bland tartar sauce, and the weak bun makes for a sub-par sandwich.
The chicken bacon ranch sandwich is under the "artisan style" sandwich category.
This is a lot to handle. The bread is desperately trying to save the sogginess of the sandwich. The tomato is anemic. The mayonnaise overpowers. And the lightly-peppered chicken and two strips of bacon are the only things lending any flavor to this sandwich.
The crispy chicken sandwich...
...Or not-so-crispy chicken sandwich. Overdoing the mayonnaise and pathetically wilted lettuce seems to be a trend with Dairy Queen's sandwiches. This "crispy" chicken sandwich is bland, boring, and unimpressive.
The 4-piece chicken strip combo — a simple, low-stakes meal.
This combo is commonplace at most fast food chains and it's hard to mess up. This is average at best. The French fries are nothing special — neither crispy nor soggy. But why does it comes with two floppy pieces of toast? That will remain a mystery.
The Dairy Queen cheese curds – they look tasty enough.
These mini mozzarella sticks are salty, cheesy, and acceptable as a snack option. Who doesn't like fried cheese? We are put off by the term "curds", however.
The chicken quesadilla is part of Dairy Queen's "Snack Melt" menu.
This looks as though someone threw everything into one wrap and haphazardly called it a quesadilla. It consists of tomatoes, onions, olives, and a surprisingly small amount of cheese. It's not bad, but it's also not good.
The chicken bacon BBQ snack melt is definitely snack-sized.
This is the best thing we tried – but "best" is an overstatement. We think it's because everything tastes better with BBQ sauce.
The sauce is on the sweet side, but the chicken is decent and plentiful – yet we did not taste a hint of bacon.
Dairy Queen is known for its ice cream and Blizzards for a reason. The chain does a great job with dessert, but for the most part, a terrible job with its food. It advertises its Chill Grill menu as being "Fan Food" rather than fast food. But we weren't fans.
