Welcome to the Moscow Radisson!
Here's the lobby – opulent columns, marble floors, and atmospheric chandeliers.
Back behind the lobby, though...
...is a painstakingly detailed scale diorama of Moscow!
Right about this time, a burly security guard told me I couldn't take any more pictures of the lobby. Sounds like a great time to check out the room. Let's head up the stairs...
...and onto the elevator...
My room is right down this hallway.
Here's home sweet home for the next few days – room 0742.
Upon entering, you put your keycard into this slot by the door to activate the lights.
The light switches will only work with the keycard in that slot.
This is just about the most inviting thing a jet lagged traveler can see.
Here's the view looking back at the door. More on that large white cabinet momentarily.
What says "hotel hospitality" like bedside chocolate?
When in Russia, you gotta watch Russia Today.
There's a modest snack bar with some champagne.
...and a well-stocked minibar, you've got all the makings of a party.
After a look at these prices, I think I'll be passing.
Want room service? Fill out this card that promises to "feed [your] soul."
Here's where I set up Business Insider's Moscow headquarters.
Forget those cardboard doorknob hangers – this hotel uses tassels.
The housekeeping staff folded and organized my dirty clothes for me.
If you're running out of clean clothes, the Radisson is happy to do your laundry for a fee.
Smokers: the hotel has you covered!
The window offers a view of the roof deck.
And you can catch a sight of the very lovely courtyard.
It makes for a nice spot to unwind with a friend at the end of the day.
The bathroom includes a bidet for the especially hygiene-conscious.
There's all order of soaps and lotions to use.
But don't even think about wearing it outside the room.
We appreciated the magnifying mirror for facial hair maintenance.
After a long day of strolling around Moscow, this shower was divine.
Water pressure abounds, baby!
If you slip in the tub, you can yank this cord to get help.
Back to the large white cabinet – let's unlock it.
Inside is a safe for storing any valuables you want to keep securely out of sight.
The other side has a spot to hang your shirts and includes extra bed linens.
Below that you can grab some slippers.
Hopefully you never need to use the fire escape plan.
That said, let's go explore Moscow.
Maybe you're hungry for a Big Mac.
