- Insider spoke to private jeweler Anna P. Jay about mistakes people make when buying engagement rings.
- Focusing only on carat size and shopping online are common errors, according to Jay.
For many people, buying an engagement ring can be intimidating.
Not only does the piece symbolize making a lifelong commitment to someone, but an engagement ring is also a costly purchase that most people don't know much about before it's time to buy one.
From carat size to cost, it's easy to get confused when trying to find your or your partner's dream ring.
Insider spoke to Anna P. Jay, a private jeweler based out of Nantucket, Massachusetts, and Charleston, South Carolina, about the common mistakes people make when shopping for an engagement ring.
Carat size isn't the only thing that matters when it comes to engagement rings
When most people think of a high-quality diamond ring, they typically think about a large carat size.
But as Jay told Insider, the carat size won't matter if you're not also thinking about the cut, color, clarity, and measurement of the ring.
"Maybe you want a one-carat diamond, but not all one-carat diamonds are made equally," Jay said.
"It could be a five-carat diamond, but it could lack the sparkle," Jay said. "It could be a not-so-nice color. It could have a center black imperfection. It could have brown or gray milky material."
According to Jay, measurements in particular can have a big effect on how the ring actually looks.
"Measurements make the eye believe it's bigger than its carat weight," she told Insider. For instance, oval-shaped, elongated-radiance, and emerald-cut rings all have big measurements, so they look larger than different cuts with the same carat size.
"Carat weight is not the end all, be all," Jay said, adding that you should think about the whole ring as you shop.
Don't start shopping until you're ready to make a purchase
Engagement rings are expensive, so you don't want to rush into buying one.
But you also shouldn't hesitate when you find a ring you love, because it may be gone by the time you decide to buy it, as Jay told Insider.
"It's almost like shopping at a farmers market," Jay said of engagement-ring shopping. "It's like, this week there's a ton of plums and you're like, 'Well I don't know if I want plums this week.' But then you go back next week and you really want plums, but no one has plums."
There is not an endless supply of gems, so if you aren't ready to be decisive when you start shopping, you may miss out on rings you could love, or be forced to pay more for a ring than you wanted.
"The market moves very quickly," she said. "It is a commodity where the prices fluctuate."
Jay advises against buying an engagement ring at a big-box store or online
It's become common for people to buy engagement rings online, and although online retailers make rings more accessible, there are many pitfalls to not working with an in-person jeweler, according to Jay.
The most common issue she sees with online or big-box engagement rings is people being disappointed when their ring arrives in the mail and not having a jeweler on-hand to help them fix any problems.
"Sometimes people will buy a piece online, and if there's ever an issue with it — maybe it needs to be resized, maybe you're not happy with something, or you need a repair — you need to have someone on the other side of that phone line to answer your call and say, 'OK, let's make this right,'" she said.
"You need to see the diamond in real life or work with someone who you trust to see the diamond in real life and guide you," she said.
It's not a good idea to skip discussing the ring with your partner
Whether you're the person proposing or being proposed to, you likely think of an engagement as having an element of surprise.
But Jay advises against not at least discussing what type of ring you or your partner wants before purchasing one.
"Make sure you do talk to your partner about what you want because it's not a cup of coffee," she said. "We can't just throw it away and start again."
Most people plan to wear an engagement ring every day for the rest of their lives, so it's important you love it.
"This is often the most expensive piece of jewelry a lot of people will purchase and it's the first piece of jewelry a lot of people will purchase," Jay added. "Let's make sure we nail it."