The 9 weirdest jobs of America's Founding Fathers

If you've been lucky enough to see "Hamilton," Lin-Manuel Miranda's smash Broadway hit, you already know this story.

Alexander Hamilton had a rough childhood. His father abandoned the family and his mother died of a fever. To support himself and his brother, Hamilton started clerking at Beekman and Cruger, an import-export firm on the Caribbean island of St. Croix, according to City Journal.

He was only 13 at the time. This teenager ran the entire firm while its owner was at sea.

Hamilton was basically a child prodigy of maritime commerce.

Don't believe everything you read on the internet. Thomas Jefferson wasn't a pothead.

Along with George Washington and other Virginia planters, Jefferson grew hemp on his plantation, Monticello. He even received a patent for a machine to break hemp and extract fibers, according to Robert Deitch's "Hemp: American History Revisited: The Plant with a Divided History."

But that doesn't mean he was out celebrating 4/20. Monticello's official website notes that the quote popularly attributed to Jefferson that mentions "smoking hemp" has not been found in any of his writings.

Philosopher, statesman, inventor, author — Benjamin Franklin was a true Renaissance Man.

His curious and independent nature was clear early on in his career. Franklin had been apprenticed to his older brother, a printer. This meant that he was legally bound to serve in the role for a set number of years.

The static situation wasn't ideal for him.

According to "Bonds of Citizenship: Law and the Labors of Emancipation" by Hoang Gia Phan, Franklin wrote that he "lik'd [the printer's profession] much better than that of [his] Father, but still had a Hankering for the sea."

So he ran off. Franklin absconded to Philadelphia, where he worked as a rogue printer, before traveling to London to work as a typesetter.

James Monroe was the fifth president of the United States of America, known for presiding over the Era of Good Feelings (which sounds more like a Beach Boys song than a historical period).

Before he became president, Monroe was a member of President James Madison's cabinet. He actually functioned as two members, because he held two jobs. After Madison fired the old Secretary of War (who had made the error of letting the US Capitol and White House get burned), he gave the gig to his Secretary of State, James Monroe.

What's more, Monroe actually volunteered as a cavalry scout during the fighting, according to the Bandy Heritage Center.

He was either really enthusiastic or completely unable to delegate.

George Washington is generally regarded as one of the best presidents of the United States. The country began on a pretty high note.

However, Washington's own career got off to a more rocky start.

In 1754, Washington engaged in a 15-minute battle against the French, in which the opposing commander was allegedly killed in cold blood. French troops then captured Washington at Fort Necessity sometime afterward, according to Ron Chernow's "Washington: A Life."

These events had major repercussions. France and Great Britain would declare war for the control of the region in 1756.

After the war, Washington tried to take up politics.

In "Last Call: The Rise and Fall of Prohibition," (originally seen via an article in Smithsonian Magazine), Daniel Okrent writes:

"When twenty-four-year-old George Washington first ran for a seat in the Virginia House of Burgesses, he attributed his defeat to his failure to provide enough alcohol for the voters. When he tried again two years later, Washington floated into office partly on the 144 gallons of rum, punch, hard cider and beer his election agent handed out — roughly half a gallon for every vote he received."

That must have been quite a campaign launch party. The practice was commonplace at the time, and was awesomely referred to as "swilling the planters with bumbo," according to the 1989 book Robert Dinkin's "Campaigning in America: A History of Election Practices" (originally seen via an article in Smithsonian Magazine).

John Hancock has perhaps the most famous signature in all of American history. He was a major financial backer of the revolutionary cause in Boston and the president of the Second Continental Congress.

He'd made most of his money by illegally smuggling products like Dutch tea, glass, lead, paper, and French molasses, according to the Boston Tea Party Historical Society. This helped motivate his revolutionary zeal against Britain, which strove to eradicate smuggling and restrict trading policies. He got charged with smuggling, but was acquitted thanks to his lawyer — John Adams.

Today, John Dickinson isn't as well-known as some of the more famous Founding Fathers. He still made major contributions to the founding of the country, as indicated by his nickname: "Penman of the Revolution." Dickinson authored the Petition to the King, the Olive Branch Petition, and even the first draft of the Articles of the Confederation.

He didn't just write declarations and petitions — he also dropped a hit single in 1768.

Dickinson wrote the "Liberty Song" in 1768. According to Dickinson College's official website, the song is one of the earliest musical expressions of American patriotism and is the first known publication of the now paraphrased and popular saying "by uniting we stand, by dividing we fall."

John Jay was the first Chief Justice of the United States and the least productive writer of the Federalist Papers.

He was also a successful counterespionage operative in Westchester County during the Revolutionary War.

According to the Defense Intelligence Agency's official website, Jay ran a committee that conducted "hundreds of investigations, arrests and trials involving influential businessmen and political figures loyal to the British Crown."

The group's networks collected intelligence, arrested British agents, and monitored potential Tory sympathizers. The DIA noted that "Jay himself organized clandestine operatives and ran dangerous counterintelligence missions."

Jay's life was so cool that author James Fenimore Cooper fictionalized it in his novel "The Spy."

Thomas Paine wrote "Common Sense," the most important pamphlet of the Revolutionary War. The work became a bestseller and bolstered the American desire for freedom from Britain.

Paine didn't stop with the American Revolution, though. He took his revolutionary activities across the Atlantic to France.

Despite the fact he couldn't speak the language, Paine was elected to the French National Convention, where he became an enemy of the more radical Montagnard faction.

That was not a good position to be in, on the eve of the Reign of Terror. After the Montagnards seized power, Paine was thrown in jail. He survived because of some sheer, dumb luck. A jailer missed the chalk mark on his cell door that denoted his death sentence, according to Harvey Kaye's "Thomas Paine and the Promise of America."

He didn't lose his head and was eventually released thanks to the machinations of American minister and fellow Founding Father James Monroe.