- My husband and I decided not to have kids, and it wasn't an easy decision.
- I realized I enjoyed helping new parents by stocking their refrigerators with food.
When my husband and I made the choice to not have kids, it wasn't an easy decision, especially for me, and it comes with a lot of fear — and plenty of judgment from others. But after reading Ruby Warrington's book, "Women Without Kids," I realized that my life can still have a meaningful purpose. Without children of my own, I can actually spend my time helping other mothers.
Even though I'm not a parent myself, I can see how hard it is, no matter how much help you have or work you put into it. The moms in my life are truly remarkable, but their cups are often emptier than they should be. So I like to think of myself as their food doula. If I can help them get food into their mouths and maybe bring them some joy in the process, that's the legacy I want to leave them with.
My sister's first pregnancy sparked my joy
The first time I realized that I was talented at helping stressed-out pregnant women was after an experience with my sister. Six years ago, she was pregnant with her first child. I vividly remember going to the grocery store close to her delivery date in order to get her kitchen ready for the coming days and weeks.
It was a thrill thinking about what she would need – one-handed snacks while she was breastfeeding (try Siggi's yogurt tubes) and lots of hydrating foods, like cut-up watermelon. I walked up and down the aisles, excited about what I might find.
Since then, I've had countless friends and family members who have had kids. I know that once the baby arrives, all the attention is on the child (and rightfully so!). But that can also mean that adult meals can go downhill and include food like cereal, ready-made snacks, and frozen pizza. No judgment on any new parents who eat like this, of course. You're exhausted and keeping another human alive for the first time. But that's where I come in. Because I know how to make it easier.
Use a freezer for easy defrosting
First, you need to put yourself in the headspace of pre- and post-partum parents. They will likely experience existential exhaustion, some anxiety, and moments of elation. They'll also be hungry, potentially dehydrated, and way too preoccupied to cook. As a new parent, I try to think about what I would want in that situation.
While there are millions of prepared foods and snacks to stock up on, I like to focus on the freezer as a tool because that's where the magic happens. Even if I live far away, I can stock up a family's freezer and then leave knowing they will have what they need within a few minutes of defrosting.
Homemade soup is comforting and delicious
One thing that hits the spot for the aforementioned emotional rollercoaster — while keeping in mind potential nausea and food aversions — is chicken soup packed with cute little noodles. My trick here is to buy a rotisserie chicken from Costco, pick off the meat, then throw the bones into a huge stock pot of water with onions, garlic, herbs, a Parmesan rind, and let that simmer for a few hours. Strain everything, add the chicken back in, shave in a bunch of Parmesan, squeeze in some lemon, then portion it into individual containers. Place the containers in the freezer.
When the parents are hungry, they can plop the frozen soup into a pan for five minutes until it's defrosted, add their favorite noodles of choice (I like these, Anellini by Rustichella d'Abruzzo noodles), and within 10 minutes, they have a comforting chicken soup that's way better than anything from the can or grocery store.
Lasagna soup is also easy to make in massive portions. Use marinara sauce as your base (I like to use Rao's), then add water and some herbs. Stir in a hefty amount of ricotta and Parmesan. Break up some lasagna noodles and cook them in the soup until al dente. If you want to include something green, toss in a huge handful of spinach. You could also add some pesto paste. Same deal: portion it up and into the freezer.
Easy proteins are key to a good meal
For another lightning-fast meal, I say quesadillas for all! Make yourself a little quesadilla station and get creative with fillings. Start with Monterey jack cheese paired with salsa and guacamole. Or you could make one with turkey, apples, whole-grain mustard, and cheddar. Try a dessert quesadilla with Nutella and bananas. No need to cook any of them! Just wrap them in foil individually, then store them in plastic bags, and label them. When parents are hungry, they can place the individually wrapped quesadillas in the toaster oven, and within a few minutes will have something delicious.
For meat eaters, I would recommend making a batch or multiple batches of meatballs. An easy recipe includes ground turkey, Parmesan, a bit of Worcestershire, eggs, and breadcrumbs. Cook the meatballs thoroughly in a toaster oven, chill, then freeze them in a plastic bag. To prepare them, just dump the frozen meatballs into sauce with some added water, and simmer until they're heated through.
Smoothies and dessert are easy to freeze for later
In Molly Yeh's baby prep guide, she recommends bagging up and freezing smoothie ingredients in individual containers, which I think is genius. I would make one with frozen bananas, berries, and some spinach, to easily put into a blender with peanut butter and the milk of your choice. You'll have a cold refreshing smoothie in an instant.
Let's not forget that parents also need dessert. Along with plenty of ice cream and sprinkles, make your favorite cookie dough recipe — here's mine — freeze it on a sheet pan, then once they're cold, put them into a bag (using this technique) so that mom and dad can heat up a cookie any time they need a sugary pick-me-up.
Tips, hacks, and tools make it easy
A few tools that make things easier:
- A scoop, like this Norpro model, makes quick work of evenly sized cookie dough and meatballs.
- For storage, I always use plastic pint containers. They're cheap, reusable, and stack easily. You can't really ask for more than that.
- If you want to reduce plastic, you can absolutely use glass containers, just be careful if you're going from freezer to oven, as some glass containers will crack with the temperature change.
- Toaster ovens are essential for quick, easy, and mess-free cooking. If your pregnant friend doesn't have one, consider getting them one as a gift (my tip: this one from Breville). It will get used all the time. Trust me.
- Stock up on condiments like soy sauce, chili crisp, multiple mustards, red wine vinegar, curry pastes, tubes of pesto, and tomato concentrate. A dash and spoonful of these will wake up all kinds of frozen meals.
- If you have some time, make homemade pickles and jam and store them in airtight jars.
- Don't forget the mac and cheese! No need to waste time making it from scratch. Stock parents' up with their favorite kind of boxed mac and cheese. Mine is Annie's Bunnies.
- Microwaveable rice has become high-quality these days. Microwave this sticky rice for 90 seconds and it's a super-fast side (or main topped with a fried egg and their favorite condiment) for tired moms and dads. You can get a big package of them at Costco.
The most important thing is to pay attention to what the parents like to eat. What comforts them? What aversions do they have? You don't want to make a huge pot roast if the sight of meat grosses them out. Take note of what they're craving and what makes them happy. Then set them up for success.