- Office romances can lead to happily ever after — or chaos.
- They can succeed but require some guidelines, HR expert Cheryl Swirnow said.
Office romances may be the stuff of TV drama and rom-coms, but in real life, they can lead to genuine connections — or a whole lot of chaos.
Sometimes, they're at the center of a scandal. Former McDonald's CEO Steve Easterbrook was fired from his role in 2019 over a relationship with an employee.
Other times, they result in long-lasting relationships — after all, if you spend most of your time at work, there's a high chance you might meet someone you want to date there. One example: Melinda French Gates, who was a project manager at Microsoft when she met then-CEO Bill Gates. The pair spent nearly three decades married, had three kids, and built a philanthropy empire together.
But although there are instances where dating a colleague can work, human resources consultant Cheryl Swirnow told Business Insider that there are still rules one should follow to avoid any messiness.
"The key is ensuring that both parties can maintain professionalism and navigate any potential challenges that arise," Swirnow said.
Still, it's no easy task — power imbalances and relationship drama are among the factors that could affect office culture.
"Employees should take extra care to follow all workplace policies when dating a more junior employee, especially if the person reports to them," Christopher Sheekey, associate general counsel and human resources consultant at Engage PEO, said.
Sheekey added, "These types of relationships can often lead to complaints from other employees about favoritism and unfair treatment in the workplace."
To avoid complaints or uncomfortable coworkers, Sheekey said it's best to become familiar with company rules. For some businesses, that means signing a "love contract" to document consent. Different companies may just want you to tell your manager and HR.
And "other employers have begun to implement a 'one-date rule,' which says that if you ask a workmate out and they refuse, you're not allowed to ask again," Sheekey said. That's to protect — understandably — against harassment in the workplace, he said.
It's especially key for today's younger people to know the guidelines. They've been in the throes of a loneliness epidemic, exacerbated by the pandemic, with some blaming it on a lack of third spaces — a term used to describe social settings that aren't work or home. Now, they're getting to know their coworkers better as their bosses implement return-to-office policies, which could lead to romance.
So, while an office crush might not be harmful, it's wise to approach it carefully to avoid drama worthy of the big screen.
BI compiled a list of do's and don'ts based on advice from Swirnow and Sheekey.
Do's
- Keep public displays of affection to a minimum.
- Prioritize professionalism.
- Be transparent when disclosing your relationship to HR.
- Set clear boundaries.
- Treat your ex-partner like a normal colleague after breaking up.
- Report any inappropriate advances from a coworker.
Don'ts
- Harass a colleague about accepting a date proposal.
- Make your coworkers uncomfortable with intimacy at work.
- Bring your relationship drama into the office.
- Gossip about your relationship with other employees.
- Badmouth your ex in the workplace.