A hauntingly beautiful sequin Nicolas Cage pillow
A calendar of dog shaming photos
A set of Golden Girls wine charms
Golden Girls Wine Charms, Set of 4, available on Etsy, $14
Wine time is already a highlight of many social groups — make it even better with handmade glass wine charms that honor the Golden Girls. Just make sure to allow seven-10 business days for them to arrive before your White Elephant exchange.
An adult coloring book full of swear words
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A NSFW version of the popular Watch Ya Mouth game
A screw-on top that turns a wine bottle into a glass
A punny breakfast bowl that works especially well for horror fans
next slide will load in 15 secondsSkip AdSkip AdA 2019 calendar celebrating only the cringe-worthy awkwardness of timeless family photos
A pillow that immortalizes their best friend (who isn't you)
Custom Pet Pillow, available on Canvas Pop, from $39
If you're shopping for a pet parent, you can probably stop here. Not many novelty gifts are guaranteed a prominent spot in your friend's apartment, but this one probably won't leave the living room couch. Plus, in the days of dog and cat Instagrams, it's not too hard to find your own mini album of options.
A gift that immortalizes their best friend (who is you)
Slang flashcards for the friend who asked you what GOAT means
A sweatshirt of Elon Musk smoking on the Joe Rogan podcast
next slide will load in 15 secondsSkip AdSkip AdA "This is Fine" meme mug
Socks that mimic some of the most famous paintings in history
A saint candle with your friend's face on it — or their pet's
A gimmicky present they'll actually wind up using
An all-in-one breakfast sandwich maker
next slide will load in 15 secondsSkip AdSkip AdA beer-drinking board game
Beeropoly, available on Uncommon Goods, $35
If your ideal drinking game includes dance moves (preferably from peers rather than you), Never Have I Ever, and the beloved yet despised "pour one drink into the community cup," you may get a kick out of this Beeropoly master game.
A pet portrait done in the classic Renaissance style
Custom Pet Portrait, available on Etsy, $9.99
Do yourself and your friends a favor and have a custom pet portrait done in the traditional Renaissance style. Perfect for the hearth, Great Hall, or above a dresser done in the IKEA Scandinavian minimalist style.
A jokey (or completely serious) how-to book on using your cat's hair to craft
A kitchen towel that has a chart of beer and food pairings on it
An SNL-inspired parody hat
next slide will load in 15 secondsSkip AdSkip Ad An emergency pizza rescue kit engineered by a group of New York pizza aficionados
Pizza Rescue Kit, available on Uncommon Goods, $15
A group of New York pizza aficionados are the masterminds behind this "Pizza Rescue Kit," which can turn even the most underwhelming slice of pizza into something worth writing home about. The emergency kit consists of Italian black truffles with Atlantic sea salt, organic Italian herb mix, and Aleppo chili pepper.
The kind of puzzle all non-puzzle lovers will find barbaric
"Prison Mike" coasters, in homage to The Office
A Nicolas Cage activity book
A Bob Ross chia pet
Bob Ross Chia Pet, available on Urban Outfitters, $24
Not only is a chia pet one of the easiest plants you can possibly take care of, it also comes in the shape of the beloved Bob Ross. It comes with enough chia seeds for three plantings, and after that they can re-use the planter with anything from basil to alfalfa to thyme.
next slide will load in 15 secondsSkip AdSkip AdPizza-themed socks arranged like a pizza
A book full of serious scientific answers to far-fetched hypothetical questions
"What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions", available on Amazon, $13.99
Randall Munroe is best known for his cult-favorite stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love. In this book, he gives fans serious scientific answers to the hypothetical questions people ask him. The hilarious answers are the results of stacks of declassified military research memos, differential equations, and interviews with nuclear reactor operators, and are accompanied by his signature comics.
Baking cups that make actual muffin tops
A baking pan that makes edible cookie spoons
The best Game of Thrones fandom gift you're likely to find
Hodor Doorstop, available on Etsy, $22
No spoilers here, but your "Game of Thrones"-obsessed friends will probably consider this wooden block with a nonsensical word embossed upon it as one of the best gifts they get this year.
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An Owen Wilson "wow" meme-inspired mouse pad
Owen Wilson “Wow” Mouse Pad, available on Etsy, $9.99
In the depths of the internet, alongside the most developed Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot theories, are a horde of videos dedicated to the way Owen Wilson has been saying the word "wow" since 1996. If your friend loves memes — or Owen Wilson — they're probably a fan.
A microwavable dish that makes eggs especially for bagels
A set of "Drink Time Continuum" tumblers with prominent thinkers on them
Famous Scientist Tumblers, available on Uncommon Goods, $15
These "Drink Time Continuum" tumblers are illustrated with some of history's greatest minds, from Albert Einstein to Marie Curie. If your friend loves the intersection of clever wordplay, smarts, and creativity, they'll probably love — and actually use — these.
A mug with a built-in basketball hoop
next slide will load in 15 secondsSkip AdSkip AdA pie dish with a geeky pun baked right in
A Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon mug layered over two other Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon mugs
The ancient symbol for knowledge made out of computer hardware
Apple Byte Desktop Sculpture, available on Uncommon Goods, $34
If your intended recipient would identify as a geek — or if they love symbolism, IT, Macs, or objects with a great story behind them — they're going to love this desktop sculpture. Apples are an ancient symbol for wisdom, and this art piece is made out of salvaged computer components as an artistic, nature-plus-technology statement.
A to-go sriracha sauce keychain for the hot sauce fiend
An eerily accurate poster
next slide will load in 15 secondsSkip AdSkip AdAn inspirational poster for fans of The Office
A hilarious NSFW card game you can play together
Cards Against Humanity: Red Box, available on Amazon, $20
Most people already have Cards Against Humanity, and this extended "Red Box" version comes with 300 fresh cards to add into the mix (230 white and 70 black). The company also notes that it "transforms your deck of Cards Against Humanity into a better bludgeoning weapon against home invaders."
A funny cookbook made especially for hungover, demoralizing mornings
The Hungover Cookbook, available on Amazon, $8.50
This cookbook was built to handle hangovers — six types of them to be exact. Recipes are tailored to the specific hangover and are bookended by insights into hangover science, quizzes to see if you're maybe just still drunk, and witty jokes.
A crowd-pleasing gag gift mug
A topical "spill the tea" meme pin
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A punny mug made by an independent artist