Not responding to an invite until the last minute.
Not responding until the last minute says, "I was waiting for something better to come up, but since there isn't anything, I guess I can go."
Don't send that message — if you're not already going somewhere for Thanksgiving and don't plan to, say yes as soon as you feel you can commit.
Showing up empty-handed.
Even if nothing is said explicitly, it's expected that when showing up to someone's house for Thanksgiving, you don't come empty-handed.
Ask the host beforehand if there's anything they need that you can bring with you. Even if they say no, you still shouldn't come with nothing. A bottle of wine will almost certainly do the trick.
Showing up underdressed.
Don't think that just because you're among friends and family you can dress in your PJs. Show respect for the hosts and look the part expected of you. You'll make your parents proud.
Failing to place your napkin in your lap.
As soon as you sit down, your dinner napkin immediately goes on your lap. It is to be used to clean your fingers and your mouth, but never your nose.
When you're finished, leave it on the table, to the left of your empty plate.
Not introducing any guests you brought to those who may not know them.
If you're bringing an unknown guest into the fold, you need to introduce them to all of your friends and family.
Not doing so will make everyone uncomfortable, and put the onus on either the guest to introduce themselves or the other party guests to go out of their way — either way can be an awkward situation.
Placing your phone on the table.
Even if it's not your intent, a phone on the table sends a clear message: "Whatever call or text I'm waiting for is more important than giving you my undivided attention."
If you don't care to send that message, put your phone in your pocket.
Using the wrong utensils, cups, or plates.
Remember these rules when dining at a table:
- Utensils are used from the outside in.
- Your cups go on the right side.
- Your bread plate goes on your left side.
Sure, this may seem unfair to lefties — but these are just the rules. Otherwise, knowing which item is whose can get pretty confusing.
Gesticulating with cutlery in hand.
Don't jab a knife at someone just to get your point across.
Not only is it rude but, done wildly enough, it can even be dangerous.
Salting food before tasting it.
When someone prepares you food, you should assume that it tastes good until proven otherwise.
So don't assume it needs more salt, no matter how much you love extra sodium. Taste it first.
Commenting on the food in anything but a positive way.
Thanksgiving is not the time for constructive criticism. If you like the food, great — give a good review from the bottom of your heart.
If not, say nothing more about it, eat as much as you can stomach, and politely wait for the next course.
Talking about volatile subjects like politics.
With a recent election still fresh in everyone's minds, and a group of people who likely haven't seen each other in a while, it's likely politics will be on the tip of everyone's tongue.
Don't give in to that temptation. You don't need an etiquette guide to tell you how this could end badly. If you really need to say something to the group assembled, save it for after everyone is done eating. If someone says something to you, politely reply with something that does not betray your true feelings of the subject, nod, and hope the conversation moves forward quickly.
Even if everyone seems to be in agreement, it's likely at least one guest is profoundly uncomfortable with the discussion but does not wish to make a scene. They, too, deserve your consideration at the table.