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<ul class="summary-list"><li>If your partner has an affair, you may be tempted to have sex with them, aka "hysterical bonding."</li><li>For some, it's a way to reclaim their agency, or it could be a sign of sexual deficiency. </li></ul>Editor's note: Insider has agreed not to identify the people discussing their relationships to protect their privacy. Their identities are known to us. The <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-move-past-cheating-partner-2023-8">discovery of infidelity</a> brings on all kinds of rage and grief, complex feelings that are difficult to process. There aren't many wrong ways to respond to your partner cheating on you, though <keyword id="82565" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="carrie-underwood" source="Orion">Carrie Underwood</keyword> walked us through some of the more illegal ones — namely destroying their car. But one surprising way people react to learning of their partner's affair is by having sex with them. <h2>Why people have sex with their partners after finding out they cheated</h2>There are many reasons a person may feel tempted to have sex with their partner <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/women-share-why-had-affairs-cheating-how-they-did-it-2023-3">post-affair</a>, <keyword id="16707398" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="talal-alsaleem" source="Orion">Talal Alsaleem</keyword>, an infidelity expert and licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in infidelity recovery, said. Occasionally, it's an issue of comparing themselves with the person their partner had an affair with, <keyword id="18830488" type="General" weightage="80" keywordseo="alsaleem" source="Orion">Alsaleem</keyword> said — even if they've already decided they're not staying in the relationship. "Sometimes the betrayed has already made their decision," he said. "They want to leave, but they want the unfaithful to know: Here's what you're going to be missing out on." That's what drove a 34-year-old from Kansas City, Missouri, to have sex with his boyfriend after discovering through incriminating texts that he had slept with a woman and might have gotten her pregnant. "I had this lingerie that he just loved," he said. "So I just decided to have sex with him one more time to kind of <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-stop-thinking-about-sex-with-ex-during-relationship-2021-11">reclaim my own agency</a> and prove that I'm good enough, and you lost this and you're never going to get it again." He said the sex was hot, adding that immediately afterward, he told his partner he knew about the affair. <keyword id="18830489" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="monique-thompson" source="Orion">Monique Thompson</keyword>, a licensed professional counselor specializing in infidelity who created a workbook for couples who have experienced infidelity, said that you might think "this person really must want to be in the relationship because they're trying to use sex as a reclaiming factor, when really they just want <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/sex-relationships/how-to-break-up-with-someone-you-love">to be the person to leave</a>." <h2>What is 'hysterical bonding'?</h2>That said, some people simply want to <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-make-a-relationship-stronger-after-cheating-2019-11">reconnect with their partner or demonstrate their closeness</a>. Many genuinely feel a desire to be comforted by intimacy with their partner. There's even a term for it — "<a target="_blank" href="https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/hysterical-bonding#characteristics">hysterical bonding</a>." For some, having sex is a way to reclaim their partner, or even themselves. That was the case for a 41-year-old from <keyword id="293230" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="spokane" source="Orion">Spokane</keyword>, Washington. "We had such a poor relationship that sex was the only positive, the only thing where we never had any issues, and we both enjoyed it greatly," he said. For him, sex came immediately after his partner disclosed her infidelity. "I wanted details about what she did," he said. "She told me it was brief. He lasted less than a minute; she didn't enjoy it at all. She had no chance to get any pleasure out of it." That led him to want to have sex with his partner again to prove something. "She was expecting me to blow up the relationship," he said. "But because it was such an unsatisfactory sexual experience for her, I guess I just wanted her to have a good experience with me and show her that <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/why-people-get-back-together-after-cheating-2018-3">wasn't enough for me to give up on her</a>." While their marriage didn't last, the couple still have sex occasionally. <h2>An affair could be a result of one partner not getting their sexual needs met</h2>On the other hand, sometimes infidelity is caused "by a deficit in sexual intimacy," Alsaleem said, which can lead the betrayed party to try to prove a point by having sex post-affair, to suggest they can still meet those needs. Perhaps because of that, some people find both better sex and a better relationship post-cheating. A 44-year-old in Raleigh, North Carolina, described his wife's emotional affair and said that where they ended up — after a lot of excruciating work — was better in some ways. "We decided to reconcile, and our sex life became crazy good and super frequent," he said. He added that after he found out, he "went into a period of what I now know is hysterical bonding and definitively having a strong desire to reclaim her from the other guy." While their sex life came back stronger, he emphasized the amount of work and pain that went into <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/using-cheating-affairs-save-marriage-2023-5">healing after the affair</a>. "I don't want to come across as reductive in talking about the sex component only," he said. "It has been a terrible struggle from the moment of discovery of my wife's affair, but we have both worked very hard to understand one another. "In doing so, we have been more intimate with each other than we have been in years with our conversations with one another." <h2>Fixing the relationship requires vulnerability</h2>It's a sentiment Alsaleem echoed, and one that sometimes leads to better sex between couples. The discussions that arise from infidelity "can cause people to be vulnerable," Alsaleem said, adding, "There's a lot of apology. There are a lot of regrets. There's a lot of sharing because infidelity forces people to actually have talks that they should have had a long time ago. Sometimes that vulnerability piece related to the sharing causes people to <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/sex-therapy">want to connect sexually</a>." Simply having good sex or reclaiming sex probably won't solve the issues that led to infidelity. While it may be incredibly satisfying in the short term, you need to move on — whether that means finding a way to forgive your partner and mend the relationship or ending the relationship. There are no correct ways to get over betrayal, but if you happen to have hot sex in the process, that's OK.

Hysterical bonding is when an individual sleeps with their cheating partner — and there is a reason it happens.

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image">REUTERS/Jim Young A vehicle sits on a pile of debris from the destruction caused by a tornado that touched down in Washington, Illinois, November 17, 2013.</div></div></div>WASHINGTON, Illinois (Reuters) - A fast-moving storm system triggered multiple <keyword id="486360" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Tornadoes">tornadoes</keyword> on Sunday that killed at least six people and flattened large parts of a town in Illinois as it tore across the Midwest, authorities said.
The tornadoes leveled scores of homes and demolished entire neighborhoods. Some 80 tornado reports were received, along with 358 reports of damaging winds and 40 reports of large hail, according to Rich Thompson, a lead forecaster with the weather service's Storm Prediction Center in Norman, Oklahoma.
Traffic was halted briefly at Chicago's two major airports, and tens of thousands of people in several states lost power.
By early Monday three people were reported killed in Massac County, two in Washington County and one in the city of Washington, in Tazewell County, said Patti Thompson of the Illinois Emergency Management Agency.
The National Weather Service confirmed preliminary EF-4 tornado damage in Washington County in southern Illinois, with winds of 166 to 200 miles per hour.
The unusual late-season storms moved dangerously fast, tracking east at 60 miles per hour, with the bulk of the damage spanning about five hours, Thompson said. Wind damage threats continued across Pennsylvania and New York.
<h3>DEVASTATION</h3>
The town of Washington, 145 miles southwest of Chicago, was hit hard as tornadoes tore through Indiana and Kentucky, Illinois and a small corner of Ohio.
"The devastation is just unbelievable," said Mayor Gary Manier. Hundreds of homes were destroyed, one person was killed and 31 were being treated for injuries in nearby Peoria.
"I can't imagine people walked away from these places," Manier said of the devastation in the town of 15,000.
Two people, an 80-year-old man and his 78-year-old sister, were killed in Washington County, Illinois, about 200 miles south of Peoria, County coroner Mark Styninger said.
Three others were killed in Massac County, Illinois, on the Kentucky border where a tornado devastated several neighborhoods, emergency officials said.
Sara Sparkman, a spokeswoman for the Tazewell County, Illinois health department, told Reuters: "We have reports of homes being flattened, roofs being torn off ... We have actual whole neighborhoods being demolished by the storm."
More people were feared trapped in their basements under debris, said Illinois State Police spokeswomanMonique Bond.
The American Red Cross worked with emergency management officials to set up shelters and provide assistance.
The Washington tornado came out of a fast-moving system that originally headed toward Chicago, forcing a delay of a Chicago Bears-Baltimore Ravens NFL game as it threatened a large swath of the Midwest.
(Additional reporting by Deborah Zabarenko, Jonathan Allen, James Kelleher and Carey Gillam; Writing by Scott Malone; Editing by Chris Michaud)

Six Killed As Tornadoes Rip Through America's Midwest

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image">Mark Seliger/Fox2015 Emmy Awards host Andy Samberg.</div></div></div>The 67th Primetime Emmy Awards are taking place on Sunday in Los Angeles with Andy Samberg as its host.Below are the awards that are being presented during the telecast. We will be updating the winners of each category throughout the evening.Director For A Comedy SeriesPhil Lord and Christopher Miller, "The Last Man On Earth" Louis C.K., "Louie" Mike Judge, "Silicon Valley" Jill Soloway, "Transparent" ***WINNER Armando Iannucci, "Veep"Supporting Actor, Comedy SeriesAndre Braugher, "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" Adam Driver, "Girls" Keegan-Michael Key, "Key &amp; Peele" Ty Burrell, "Modern Family" Tituss Burgess, "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" Tony Hale, "Veep" ***WINNERWriting For A Comedy SeriesDavid Crane and Jeffrey Klarik, "Episodes" Will Forte, "The Last Man On Earth" Louis C.K., "Louie" Alec Berg, "Silicon Valley" Jill Soloway, "Transparent" Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, and Tony Roche, "Veep" ***WINNERSupporting Actress, Comedy SeriesMayim Bialik, "The Big Bang Theory" Niecy Nash, "Getting On" Julie Bowen, "Modern Family" Allison Janney, "Mom" ***WINNER Kate McKinnon, "Saturday Night Live" Gaby Hoffmann, "Transparent" Jane Krakowski, "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" Anna Chlumsky, "Veep"Writing For A Limited Series, Movie Or A Dramatic SpecialJohn Ridley, "American Crime" Dee Rees, Christopher Cleveland, Bettina Gilois, and Horton Foote, "Bessie" Stephen Merchant, Gene Stupnitsky, and Lee Eisenberg, "Hello Ladies: The Movie" Hugo Blick, "The Honorable Woman" Jane Anderson, "Olive Kitteridge" Peter Straughan, "Wolf Hall"Director For A Limited Series, Movie, Or Dramatic SpecialRyan Murphy, "American Horror Story: Freak Show" Dee Rees, "Bessie" Hugo Blick, "The Honorable Woman" Uli Edel, "Houdini" Tom Shankland, "The Missing" Lisa Cholodenko, "Olive Kitteridge" Peter Kosminsky, "Wolf Hall"Writing For A Variety Series"The Colbert Report" "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" "Inside Amy Schumer" "Key &amp; Peele" "Last Week Tonight With John Oliver"Directing For A Variety SeriesJames Hoskinson, "The Colbert Report" Chuck O'Neil, "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" Amy Schumer and Ryan McFaul, "Inside Amy Schumer" Jerry Foley, "Late Show With David Letterman" Dave Diomedi, "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon"Writing For A Drama SeriesJoshua Brand, "The Americans" Gordon Smith, "Better Call Saul" David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, "Game Of Thrones" Semi Chellas and Matthew Weiner, "Mad Men" Matthew Weiner, "Mad Men"Directing For A Drama SeriesTim Van Patten, "Boardwalk Empire" David Nutter, "Game Of Thrones" Jeremy Podeswa, "Game Of Thrones" Lesli Linka Glatter, "Homeland" Steven Soderbergh, "The Knick" Comedy Series"Louie" "Modern Family" "Parks and Recreation" "Silicon Valley" "Transparent" "The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" "Veep"Actress in a Comedy SeriesEdie Falco, "Nurse Jackie" Lisa Kudrow, "The Comeback" Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "Veep" Amy Poehler, "Parks and Recreation" Amy Schumer, "Inside Amy Schumer" Lily Tomlin, "Grace and Frankie"Actor in a Comedy SeriesAnthony Anderson, "Black-ish" Louis CK, "Louie" Don Cheadle, "House of Llies" Will Forte, "Last Man on Earth" Matt LeBlanc, "Episodes" William H. Macy, "Shameless" Jeffrey Tambor, "Transparent" Drama Series"Better Call Saul" "Downton Abbey" "Game of Thrones" "Homeland" "House of Cards" "Mad Men" "Orange Is the New Black"Actress in a Drama SeriesClaire Danes, "Homeland" Viola Davis, "How to Get Away with Murder" Taraji P. Henson, "Empire" Tatiana Maslany, "Orphan Black" Elisabeth Moss, "Mad Men" Robin Wright, "House of Cards"Actor in a Drama SeriesKyle Chandler, "Bloodline" Jon Hamm, "Mad Men" Bob Odenkirk, "Better Call Saul" Liev Schreiber, "Ray Donovan" Kevin Spacey, "House of Cards"Supporting Actress, Drama SeriesJoanne Froggatt, "Downton Abbey" Lena Headey, "Game of Thrones" Emilia Clarke, "Game of Thrones" Christine Baranski, "The Good Wife" Christina Hendricks, "Mad Men" Uzo Aduba, "Orange Is the New Black"Supporting Actor, Drama SeriesJonathan Banks, "Better Call Saul" Ben Mendelsohn, "Bloodline" Jim Carter, "Downton Abbey" Alan Cumming, "The Good Wife" Michael Kelly, "House of Cards"Limited Series or Movie"American Crime" "American Horror Story: Freak Show" "Olive Kitteridge" "The Honourable Woman" "Wolf Hall"Actress Limited Series or MovieMaggie Gyllenhaal, "The Honourable Woman" Felicity Huffman, "American Crime" Jessica Lange, "American Horror Story: Freak Show" Queen Latifah, "Bessie" Frances McDormand, "Olive Kitteridge" Emma Thompson, "Sweeney Todd"Actor Limited Series or MovieAdrien Brody, "Houdini" Ricky Gervais, "Derek" Timothy Hutton, "American Crime" David Jenkins, "Olive Kitteridge" David Oyelowo, "Nightingale"Supporting Actor, Limited Series or MovieRichard Cabral, "American Crime" Denis O'Hare, "American Horror Story: Freak Show" Finn Wittrock, "American Horror Story: Freak Show" Michael Kenneth Williams, "Bessie" Bill Murray, "Olive Kitteridge" Damian Lewis, "Wolf Hall"Supporting Actress, Limited Series or MovieRegina King, "American Crime" Sarah Paulson, "American Horror Story: Freak Show" Angela Bassett, "American Horror Story: Freak Show" Kathy Bates, "American Horror Story: Freak Show" Mo'Nique, "Bessie" Zoe Kazan, "Olive Kitteridge"Reality-Competition Program"The Amazing Race" "Dancing with the Stars" "Project Runway" "So You Think You Can Dance" "Top Chef" "The Voice"Variety Talk Series"The Colbert Report" "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" "Jimmy Kimmel Live" "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver" "The Late Show with David Letterman" "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon"Variety Sketch Series"Drunk History" "Inside Amy Schumer" "Key &amp; Peele" "Portlandia" "Saturday Night Live"Head to the <a href="http://www.emmys.com/awards/nominees-winners">Emmys website</a> for the complete list of winners. <div class="margin-top"> <h3>NOW WATCH: <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/new-spectre-trailer-2-2015-7">The awesome new trailer for 'Spectre' finally gives us our first good look at the next Bond villain</a></h3> <div> <div> <div class="ooyala-video-player" data-video-autoplay="false" data-video-id="hmdHFldjqu3flnxbaTH-oU8wqnczanJ-" data-player-variable="ooyalapopvideo" id="ooyalaplayer_popvideo" style="width:1280px;height:720px"></div> </div> </div> </div>

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Hysterical bonding is when an individual sleeps with their cheating partner — and there is a reason it happens.

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Six Killed As Tornadoes Rip Through America's Midwest

Mary Wisniewski, Reuters

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50 Black women have been killed by the police since 2015. Most of the officers who shot them didn't face consequences.

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