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Have you ever wondered how the Amish tradition of rumspringa can change your life? A couple of months ago, I came across a wonderful write-up by Sophie Heawood in The Guardian that says why new-millennium adults of the west need to adopt it more to live a more fulfilling life. Rumspringa is an Amish tradition where young people are allowed to live life on their own terms before they return to their traditional lifestyle – an equivalent of the pre-college <keyword id="2402864" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Gap-year">gap year</keyword>. 
	 A gap year is not a novel concept, but it is not so much in demand in India before you start university or even your first job. However, professionals in their 30s and 40s seem to be more inclined towards rumspringa nowadays, choosing to walk away from their hectic lifestyle without scheduling a return. The corporate culture chooses to call it <keyword id="725309" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="sabbatical">sabbatical</keyword>, but most <keyword id="51693" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="HR-professionals">HR professionals</keyword> call it ‘<keyword id="2335909" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Breaking-free">breaking free</keyword>’ – a clean break from your old job and even your old life for a while. 
	 “The difference is just a thin red line. You take a sabbatical when you want to do something specific – take a course maybe or travel or volunteer. But you tend to return to your old life, relaxed and rejuvenated,” notes <keyword id="168543" type="POSITION" weightage="100" keywordseo="Career-counsellor">career counsellor</keyword> Sanchit Mangotra. “In contrast, breaking free is a total turnaround that impacts you both personally and professionally. The scope is much wider than a traditional sabbatical and the outcome might not be what you anticipated,” he adds. 
	 
	 
	 
	3 reasons to opt for a grown-up gap year Although India numbers are not available yet, UK media reports say more than half of their <keyword id="2402878" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Career-gappers">career-gappers</keyword> were in their mid-30s or older in 2013, compared to only 8% in 2012. Then there are new terms like grey gappers, indicating 55-plus people who are taking inspired career breaks. Of course, naysayers will condemn it as a career suicide. But here are three reasons to do it if you value yourself as an individual. 
	 
	1. If you think there’s a <keyword id="2402879" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Career-misfit">career misfit</keyword>: Not all of us are as lucky as Farhan Qureshi of the movie 3 Idiots and often make a wrong career decision during our academic years. If you are in your 30s, been in the job for a few years and don’t think it’s your niche, it’s the right time to go for a gap year and take a real hard look at what you are doing. If you are fed up with your job or have been laid off, it is bound to trigger negative feelings and affect your self-esteem. In such a case, your gap year would mean a lot of hard work – from learning a new skill to finding a new role and even <keyword id="1369640" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Starting-a-business">starting a business</keyword> of your own. But it will be worth it in the long run.
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	2. If you have a more pressing issue: This is usually the reason behind sabbaticals, but chances are your line of work or your company doesn’t offer it. There could be loads of top priority things in your life that would call for a long break. It can be something as crucial as raising a baby/looking after aged parents or you may want to nurture a hobby/passion that you have neglected till date (for me, it’s a series of forest treks across India). Whatever it is, if you strongly feel about it, go, do it now and forget everything else. Some people even take their families along and if you can manage to do it, it could be the best time ever for you and your dear ones.

	3. If you feel you are in a rut: Both personally and professionally. This is, perhaps, the most complex mindset that drives us to an early burnout and a desire to take control over our life all over again. This may lead to intense and unpredictable changes – I have once come across a couple in their mid-40s who have left their banking jobs and sold their Bangalore home to start an organic firm in Kerala. If you really feel a strong urge to rediscover yourself and reinvent your life because you are stuck in a rut and your life is not going anywhere over the years, take a break and do the needful. 
	 
	 
	 
	Plan and make provisions before you leave Money matters even when you are redefining your life – especially when you have aged parents or a growing family to look after. Many of us feel limited by these factors while others are too desperate to start off as soon as possible, instead of making some judicious plans. Keep a tab on these three things even when you are on a <keyword id="1587924" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="career-break">career break</keyword>. 
	 
	1. Take care of your investments: Your <keyword id="111450" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="investment-portfolio">investment portfolio</keyword> and <keyword id="142429" type="EVENT" weightage="100" keywordseo="Credit-Rating">credit rating</keyword> should not suffer even when you are away from a regular job and putting your life in order. Plan beforehand, make <keyword id="25450" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="savings">savings</keyword> your top priority and ensure that you have as much fund as possible. Don’t be a defaulter if there is a loan running or you are making credit card payments. You can <keyword id="2402892" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Rent-out-assets">rent out assets</keyword> (think of short-term lease if you are away from home and not using your vehicle) to generate some additional income. If you plan to be away for a long time, you can even consider selling some of the assets. Store away only a bare minimum for reuse when you are back. A <keyword id="2402895" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Working-vacation">working vacation</keyword> or <keyword id="278613" type="COMPANY" weightage="100" keywordseo="Freelance">freelance</keyword> work also pays well if you are suffering from cash crunch. 
	 
	2. <keyword id="2402898" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Retain-your-insurances">Retain your insurances</keyword>: Stay insured as the money will always come in handy – be it a medical emergency or damage/loss of goods. <keyword id="531544" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="travel-insurance">Travel insurance</keyword> is another essential that you must not skip. 
	 
	3. <keyword id="2402900" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Keep-networking">Keep networking</keyword>: Keeping in touch with the old crowd will keep you updated about the industry scenario and could even land you a freelance opportunity during the gap year. But the most sound advice came from a <keyword id="28120" type="CITY" weightage="80" keywordseo="Linkedin">LinkedIn</keyword> connect who has so rightly said, “Become <keyword id="343" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="100" keywordseo="Friends">friends</keyword> with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow.” 
	 
	That’s all there is about breaking free – you are doing it to keep growing. As for the risk of stepping out of your life and career, it will all be there when you get back. For now, go. 
	 
	Images: Thinkstock/Getty Images

Want To Take A Career Break? 3 Reasons Why You Should Do It

The role of <keyword id="30058" type="PERSON" weightage="100" keywordseo="Body-Language">body language</keyword> during a job interview can largely dictate whether you will be successful in your job pursuit or not. An often cited study from the late 60’s states that 55% of communication is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and 7% is the actual words spoken. Although this breakdown might not be exact, it does emphasize the power of non-verbal communication to impress your potential employer. Several Career counsellors say - You must at all times project confident and respectful demeanor not though words alone, but also subtly through your body language. These are some tips that can come handy during your next job interview. It's what some of the most successful people on this planet do: A natural smile is the perfect way to begin This doesn’t mean a frozen beauty queen smile or a tense “from the lips down” politician smile. Rather, the smile that seems more spontaneous and natural, like when you meet a new person for the first time. It's a sign of warmth, curiosity and openness. Ultimately that’s how you should see your interviewer – as a person you’re eager to meet. A reassuring handshake can set the tone In addition to your smile, your handshake can set the tone for the rest of the interview. Wait for the interviewer to initiate and then shake their hand firmly and warmly. Maintain eye contact while introducing yourself and follow their cues on when to let go. Nothing’s more awkward than an over-long handshake. Staring doesn’t mean eye contact Employers are looking for unspoken clues in your face and body language, and your eyes tend to give away a lot. Looking away too much can show that you’re evasive or untrustworthy. Staring, on the other hand, can show that you’re aggressive or seem like you're trying to too hard. Throughout the interview, try to maintain eye contact naturally, periodically nodding your head. Basically, paying attention to what is being said rather than how you’re doing it. Get the right posture - It shows your confidence Once you enter the interview room and you’ve already exchanged greetings with the interviewer; it’s crucial that you maintain a good posture after you are seated. Stand and sit up straight (not too stiff though) and try not to cross your arms because hunching down simply indicates that you are nervous or you are suffering from low self-esteem. The goal is to convey confidence and ease rather than stiffness or sloppiness. If possible, sit at an angle from the interviewer rather than straight across. This will feel more collegial and less confrontational. Movement of your arms Your arms or hands movements and positioning can indicate whether you are nervous or confident. Put your hands on your lap or loosely clasped on the table if you want to appear calm or confident. Some of the hands or arms positioning that you ought to avoid include: <ul> <li>Fiddling your face or hair (shows how nervous or anxious you are) </li> <li>Putting arms above the neck (shows your uncertainty) </li> <li>Touching your lips (shows you are lying), touching your nose (project the image that you are insincere), </li> <li>folding arms across your chest (indicates that you are defensive or have something to hide).</li></ul> As long as your hand movements don’t become a distraction, feel free to use gestures as a way to support your answers. Just be cognizant that they aren’t too emotive, nervous or over-the-top. Nailing the job interview is important for one’s own career and self-esteem, but as they say, there’s no fun in achieving the desired goal as much as there is in the journey you take to achieve it.

Body language tricks of highly successful people

When <keyword id="920574" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="80" keywordseo="Robert-Knight">Robert Knight</keyword> launched two newspapers, The Englishman and The Friend of India, between 1810 and 1890 in India, did he ever fathom about growth of those newspapers? And that they would ignite the <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Indian+Independence+movement">Indian Independence movement</a>? Knight, who was a <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=British+East+India+Company">British</a> man himself, fought for free press and also resisted attempts by governments, businessmen and cultural spokespersons of influencing press and journalists. Knight became an inspiration for journalists and publishers who started promoting self-rule and criticized the policies of the British. 
 
By 1925, newspapers mushroomed across the length and breadth of the country. Knight’s The Englishman and The Friend of India merged and became The Statesman in 1875, and other newspapers like <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=The+Times+of+India+">The Times of India</a> (1838), The Hindu (1878), Anandabazar Patrika (1922) and many more dotted the streets of India. 
 One more newspaper, which grabbed eyeballs was The Indian Express. Sensing the need to aware people and fuel the freedom struggle further, <keyword id="1943309" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="Ramnath-Goenka">Ramnath Goenka</keyword> launched The Indian Express in 1932 and subsequently formed the Indian Express Group with various sister publications. 
 Goenka, born in <keyword id="30033" type="COMPANY" weightage="80" keywordseo="Bihar">Bihar</keyword> on April 3, 1904, went to <a href="Chennai">Chennai</a> to learn the business and worked as a despatch vendor with the Free Press Journal. In 2000, he featured in India Today magazine’s ‘100 People Who Shaped India’. 
 The Indian Express, whose tagline is ‘<keyword id="58267" type="PERSON" weightage="100" keywordseo="Journalism">Journalism</keyword> of Courage’ became an inspiration with its stories and grew leaps and bounds. 
 
Presently, Viveck Goenka is the chairman and managing director of The Indian Express Limited. We bring you how Indian Express expanded and is still enlightening readers with its stories: 
 1. The Indian Express: The English daily is known for its opinion pieces. From a single-edition paper in <keyword id="6357595" type="COMPANY" weightage="80" keywordseo="Madras">Madras</keyword>, it grew into a multiple-edition paper. It is published from about nine locations. Raj Kamal Jha is its chief editor. Born in <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Bihar">Bihar</a>, he is also an acclaimed novelist. It also comes up with The Sunday Express and lifestyle magazine EYE on Sundays. It twice won the Vienna-based <keyword id="823770" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="80" keywordseo="International-Press-Institute">International Press Institute</keyword>'s India Award. It has also won the Kurt Shorck Award for International <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Journalism">Journalism</a>, Natali Prize and the <keyword id="1148382" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="International-Federation-of-Journalists">International Federation of Journalists</keyword> - Journalism for Tolerance Prize. 
 
 2. Loksatta: Established in 1948, Loksatta is one of the most widely read Marathi newspapers in the country. The daily is published from <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Mumbai">Mumbai</a>, Pune, Nagpur, Ahmednagar, Aurangabad, and Delhi. Loksatta Vruttant is a daily supplement with the paper that focuses on city specific issues. Other supplements include Lokrang, Chaturang, Viva, Vasturang and Career Counsellor. 
 
3. Screen: It is a leading weekly film magazine in India. Its content focuses on <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Bollywood">Bollywood</a>. It also has an e-magazine version. It was founded on September 26, 1951 with Manorama Katju as its editor. Screen, established in 1995, organizes and sponsors the Screen Awards to honour actors, directors and technicians for excellence in <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Hindi+cinema">Hindi cinema</a>. It also sponsors Screen Gold Medal for excellence in direction at the <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Film+and+Television+Institute">Film and Television Institute</a>. 
 4. The <keyword id="336252" type="COMPANY" weightage="40" keywordseo="Financial-Express">Financial Express</keyword>: It is a business daily, published by the group since 1961. It publishes 11 editions in English from cities such as Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Chandigarh, Chennai, Coimbatore, Delhi, Hyderabad, Kochi, <keyword id="6354925" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="Kolkata">Kolkata</keyword>, Lucknow, Mumbai and Pune. Headquartered in Delhi, the daily has also pioneered two special annual awards - the FE India's Best Bank Awards and the FE-EVI Green <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Business+Leadership+Awards">Business Leadership Awards</a>, aims to fete the best performers across sectors for their endeavours to tackle the issue of climate-change. 
 
5. Lokprabha: Launched in 1974, it is a weekly Marathi magazine. It gives extensive and <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=in-depth+coverage+">in-depth coverage</a> on various topics, ranging from social, political to cultural. Edited by the celebrated journalist, Pravin Tokekar, Lokprabha has over the years received many honors, Dr. <keyword id="3002513" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Babasaheb-Ambedkar-Samajik-Patrakarita">Babasaheb Ambedkar Samajik Patrakarita</keyword> award being one of them. 
 
6. Jansatta: It was launched in 1983 with a single- minded purpose to reach out to a large section of the Hindi speaking Indian intelligentsia. In Hindi, 'jan' means people and 'satta' means government. Therefore, one can appropriately recognize the meaning of 'Jansatta' as people's mandate. It is regularly published from Delhi, Kolkata, Lucknow and <a href="http://www.businessinsider.in/searchresult.cms?query=Chandigarh">Chandigarh</a>. 
 
7. The New Indian Express: In 1999, eight years after the group's founder Ramnath Goenka's death, the Indian Express Group split between the family members. The southern editions are known as The New Indian Express, while the northern editions, based in Mumbai, retained the original name The Indian Express. Both companies – The Indian Express Group and The New Indian Express are now separate entities. 
 
(Image: The Indian Express)

#IndependenceDay: The rise and rise of The Indian Express Group

<div type="image" title="children on swings" height="800" width="1200" msid="75578324" hostid="261"></div><ul class="summary-list"><li>I have one <keyword id="25155" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="brother">brother</keyword>, and people are often surprised to hear that we have no contact.</li><li>Having tried for almost four decades to foster a relationship, I've come to terms with our estrangement — and I'm not the only one in this situation.</li><li>A number of people I spoke to described how nonexistent <keyword id="6358061" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="relationships">relationships</keyword> with their <keyword id="6368381" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="siblings">siblings</keyword> boiled down to resentment, or simply having nothing in common.</li><li>It's certainly possible to mend things if both of you are willing, but sometimes cutting ties completely is the best way to protect yourself.</li><li>Editorial note: The author of this personal essay has remained anonymous for safety reasons. Insider has confirmed their identity.</li><li>*Names have been changed.</li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/?hprecirc-bullet">Visit Insider's homepage for more stories</a>.</li></ul>People often pity the only child, but I can't help but think that life would have been so much better if I hadn't had a sibling.I haven't spoken to my brother, Jake*, since Mother's Day 2019, when we had the worst explosion in a string of arguments stretching back a lifetime, right in front of our mother. Now, neither of us seem to want to break the deadlock. While I have accepted the estrangement — in many ways it has brought me a lot of relief — it also aches, especially now during this period of self-isolation, when the absence of relatives feels most obvious.Though it may sound strange, <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-its-like-to-love-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder-2020-4">sibling estrangement</a> — dating all the way back to the days of Cain and Abel — is surprisingly common. Actresses Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine famously feuded for 40 years, with the latter telling <a href="https://people.com/archive/in-no-bed-of-roses-joan-fontaine-talks-about-the-thorns-in-her-life-vol-10-no-21/">People</a>: "You can divorce your sister as well as your husbands. I don't see her at all and I don't intend to."Meanwhile, <a href="https://www.insider.com/madonna-condemned-for-calling-coronavirus-the-great-equalizer-in-video-2020-3">Madonna </a>was estranged from her brother, Christopher Ciccone, for a long time after he published a tell-all bestseller that painted his sister as bossy, sweaty, mean, and moody.<a href="https://www.insider.com/olly-murs-showed-off-weight-loss-achieved-in-2-months-2020-2">Olly Murs </a>was cut off by his brother, Ben, when the singer missed his twin's wedding due to his commitments on "The X Factor." He emotionally opened up to Sir Tom Jones on an <a href="https://www.minsterfm.com/content/video/4872/tom-jones-and-will-i-am-encourage-olly-murs-to-reconnect-with-his-twin-brother/">episode </a>of "The Voice" earlier this year: "We had a big argument. I feel like the next time I'm going to see him is when we lose somebody close in our <keyword id="22378" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="60" keywordseo="family">family</keyword> ... I've got no idea where he lives."There have even been ongoing <a href="https://www.insider.com/photos-prince-harry-meghan-markle-kate-middleton-prince-william-reunion-2020-3">rumors of a rift</a> between the once-close <a href="https://www.insider.com/prince-harry-meghan-markle-kate-middleton-prince-william-frosty-reunion-2020-3">Princes William and Harry</a>, with <a href="https://www.insider.com/prince-harry-addresses-rift-prince-william-itv-africa-documentary-2019-10">the Duke of Sussex telling documentary maker Tom Bradby in October 2019</a> that they are "on different paths at the moment." <h2>The struggle can start in childhood</h2>I'm exactly 12 months older than my brother, and we were close when we were kids, but sibling rivalries surfaced daily when we entered our teenage years. Jake became the proverbial teenager — moody, rebellious, reckless, angry, and aggressive. Once, he charged down the street after me wielding a golf club belonging to my mother, swinging it wildly and leaving my school friend and I scared witless. When I told my dad, he was relentless in his insistence that nothing happened, and that I must have been exaggerating.Unfortunately "Jake the teenager" didn't grow up — there was the Christmas he hurled the lunch mum had spent hours slaving over in the kitchen at the window, with all the force he could muster; the time, aged 16, he moved his girlfriend into his bedroom for 10 months; and a refusal to do anything as a family that continued well beyond adolescence and into our adult lives.I've always partly blamed my brother's narcissistic teenage behavior for the breakdown of my parent's marriage — they were invariably arguing about how to handle him. I thought our relationship would change as we got older, ideally becoming one of friendship, but that never happened. Rather, it got worse as we forged completely different lives. I left for university and subsequently spent eight years living and working overseas, while he stayed at home with my dad right up until the ripe old age of 37. Jake now lives with his girlfriend in a large three-bedroom house and works as a gym teacher in a private school, while I've ended up in a shoebox flat that I adore, pursuing a portfolio career. We have no contact.Our situation is more common than you might think, according to Clinical Psychologist <a href="https://twitter.com/drilanbz?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor">Dr Illan Ben-Zion</a>. He told Insider: "As siblings grow up, their priorities change and they start to discover new priorities elsewhere. "This can result in new priorities taking precedence and increased likelihood of estrangement, particularly where there is no shared roof to ensure the relationship is maintained." <h2>A bad sibling relationship can be rooted in resentment</h2><div type="image" title="brothers playing boys kids" height="800" width="1200" msid="75578329" hostid="261"></div>Howard*, 50, knows just how difficult it can be when your sibling is a thorn in your side. His brother, Darren*, is older by seven years. He told Insider he has never been comfortable with his brother, but growing up thought it was due to the fact that Darren always saw him as an "annoying little brother hampering his fun."Darren's primary attitude towards Howard, then and now, is deep-seated resentment. "It was a massive shock to me to learn that he begrudged my going to university and the support I got from our parents to do so — even though Darren never showed any interest in higher education and our parents helped him in other ways; from buying him a car, so he could cart his drums around during his budding musician days, to providing financial assistance when, after a breakdown, he embarked on a second career."Howard never addressed Darren's bitterness.London-based Counsellor and Psychotherapist Ulrike Adeneuer-Chima told Insider: "Siblings who saw themselves as the less-favored child don't necessarily shrug this off, as we would perhaps expect, in adulthood."Things came to a head between the brothers when their father, Ted, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer five years ago. "Despite the fact that Darren had always been dad's favorite — I was mum's special son — my brother never went to visit him in the hospice. Dad was at death's door and Darren never went. That was unbelievably painful to watch."Their father died in 2018, and Howard hasn't seen his brother since the funeral, where Darren washed his hands of all the attendant bureaucracy. Their mother is now in a care home for dementia but, once again, all the arrangements have fallen to Howard and his spouse Kathy*."It has never occurred to Darren or his wife to send mum a birthday, Christmas, or Easter card, so we send one every year on his behalf so as not to break her heart," Howard told Insider."I wouldn't be surprised if the next and final time I see my brother is at my mother's funeral."<h2>Sometimes you just have nothing in common</h2>Meanwhile, sometimes there is no drama, just a dawning awareness that you're different people with little in common and little reason for connection, as is the case with Hope*, 44, and her brother Curtis*, 49."We were never close as children, largely because of the age gap," Hope told Insider. "When I was 10, Curtis was 15 and out with his friends. By the time I was 15, he was 20 and had left home and started work."The ties had always been thin and so weren't hard to cut, even when they were both living and working in London. "I've always just thought that if we met in a bar, we wouldn't be friends," she said.When she moved to Barbados, where both her parents were born, three years ago and Curtis remained in the UK, "the distance — both literally and metaphorically — grew even bigger," she said. Yet while the siblings don't speak and are unlikely to anytime soon, there's no bad blood. "If Curtis called me up to ask for a kidney, I'd say yes — 100% — and I'd like to think he would do the same," she said.Psychotherapist <a href="https://www.twistingthejar.com/">Siobhan Murray</a> told Insider: "We expect siblings to have a strong connection but more often than not we'd never pick a sibling to be our friend, and that's OK."We grow up watching all these American films which portray siblings as the best of friends, but that's a myth. There are no guarantees that siblings will share common interests or even like each other."<h2>Each family member perceives things differently</h2><div type="image" title="siblings on couch" height="800" width="1200" msid="75578333" hostid="261"></div>I've often looked enviously at my friends' relationships with their siblings — they see, call, or text them all the time. My friend Mary* and her brother Lionel* chose to live together until their 30s, share friends, and even holiday together. Having witnessed the bond between the pair, in recent years I've reached out to my own brother in the hope of reconciling — I know it would delight my dad, who would love nothing more than for us to be friends for the rest of our lives. Through my work as a <keyword id="15482" type="COMPANY" weightage="100" keywordseo="lifestyle">lifestyle</keyword> journalist, from time to time I've taken Jake to shows and restaurants I was reviewing in a bid to build a relationship, but it never ends well, as difficult issues always get stirred up. Having done nearly all the emotional work of trying to re-establish a relationship, I've lost hope that things will heal — not to mention the will to reach out yet again."While it is a romantic notion for all families to be united and work through their challenges, in reality this can be really difficult to achieve," Murray told Insider. "Each person within the family is an individual and therefore perceives the world differently based on their experiences."Emma*, a 45-year-old freelance photographer, can relate. She grew up as the second-youngest of six children and enjoys a healthy relationship with all her siblings other than Summer*, the sister directly above her.Emma can recall childhood moments when Summer would rage at her — be it for a strong school report, landing the lead role in a school play or, later in life, receiving an avalanche of birthday wishes from friends on her Facebook wall. She suspects Summer resented her for usurping her as the baby of the family, especially as Summer is at least in "text contact" with her other siblings.Laura Jean Collins, a counsellor at Beaconhills College in Australia, told Insider: "Conflicting accounts of childhood experiences are fairly common."Each sibling has a different take and the truth often gets lost somewhere in the middle."Despite spending much of her youth walking on eggshells so as not to provoke her sister, Emma yearned to reconcile and, a few years back, flew out to western Australia, where Summer now lives, to visit her.Alas, it wasn't a successful sojourn. As Emma entered Summer's house, following a 24-hour flight to get there, her sister's first words were: "It's my house, my rules." "She ended up screaming at me in the garden at the top of her lungs over something as trivial as my making a cup of tea. After two days of enduring her anger and tantrums, I checked out and into a hostel," she told Insider. While Emma continues to have satisfying relationships with her brother and three other sisters, she has not spoken to Summer since that trip.<h2>Cutting ties isn't ideal, but it's about protecting yourself</h2>Collins told Insider that when there's conflict between siblings, it's best "to have that hard conversation early on when there's still a chance that the relationship can be fixed.""It's absolutely possible to mend ties without having a perfect relationship, if both siblings are willing," she added.Murray added that cutting off a relationship doesn't have to be the answer if you can "establish boundaries as to what your relationship will and won't be, rather than have no contact at all."However, sometimes it's too late, or this simply isn't an option.As was the case with Jake and I, there can come a time when you have to sever ties with a difficult sibling to protect yourself from further pain and anguish.Make no mistake: cutting off a sibling isn't what anyone would want or hope for, but as the people I spoke to agreed, sometimes it's the wise and necessary choice: it's not healthy to hold on to someone who persistently hurts you."Occasionally sibling relationships just don't work out," Collins told Insider. "Cutting the chord is extreme and should always be the last resort because even if it brings relief, it's always sad. However sometimes terminating a relationship is necessary for self-preservation."Adeneuer-Chima added: "Rivalry isn't always fixable, but what is fixable is what you can work through in yourself."Having pulled the plug, Howard and Emma both told Insider they finally feel at peace. Sometimes maintaining a connection simply isn't possible, and once you've accepted that, you can begin to heal and move forward with your life.Psychotherapist <a href="https://www.amylaunder.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw7qn1BRDqARIsAKMbHDby4PdoshOtZ5EUhy7DZJe4SDjoJgII87EZ0qF6mKVyEpQg56QjfZwaAnu_EALw_wcB">Amy Launder</a> told Insider: "There might be times when, actually, estrangements shouldn't be fixed, or you aren't ready to fix them. It is important to think about your own emotional and physical safety, and the emotional and physical safety of your sibling."I wish my brother and I had a different relationship, but having dealt with his hostility for decades, I know that cutting off contact is the best thing I could have done for myself.<h2>I haven't closed the door completely</h2><div type="image" title="brother sister looking out window" height="960" width="1200" msid="75578335" hostid="261"></div>For all that, I haven't closed the door on Jake completely, but at this point he'll probably have to be the one to pass through it.Should an estranged sibling walk back in, Collins recommended "open and honest communication that acknowledges one another's feelings and takes responsibility for their part.""Talking from 'I' instead of passing blame is an invaluable tool as when we point the finger, the other closes down, becomes defensive and puts up a wall that is difficult to penetrate," she said.For now, I count my blessings: I enjoy a fantastic relationship with both my mum and dad, and am surrounded by a wonderful circle of friends.As the late Maya Angelou once said: "Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones you accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what."Read more:<a href="https://www.insider.com/i-cut-off-contact-with-my-dad-like-meghan-markle-2020-3">I cut off contact with my father for 2 years, so I understand why Meghan Markle would want to do the same</a><a href="https://www.insider.com/what-its-like-to-love-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder-2020-4">My sister has borderline personality disorder, and a decade after her diagnosis, I still struggle to make our relationship work</a><a href="https://www.insider.com/sibling-dynamics-behaviors-narcissistic-families-2019-7">The 5 most common themes in narcissistic families, from 'flying monkeys' to the 'needy sibling'</a>Read the original article on <a href="https://www.insider.com/why-i-cut-contact-with-brother-sibling-estrangement-2020-5">Insider</a>

I can't help but think life would be better if I didn't have a sibling, and I'm not alone

Yup, you have got it right – there’s no typo here. We are not talking about the traditional Monday morning blues that make people call in sick. Neither are we talking about the just-back-from-vacation crowd who is bound to feel a flutter in the stomach when faced with stomaching the gruelling workplace routine once again. Instead, there is a not-so-recognised but alarmingly growing trend when a perfectly healthy individual walks in smiling in the morning and limps back home pale and unwell after the work hours, often calling <keyword id="343" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="40" keywordseo="Friends">friends</keyword> and family and telling them how ill she is. In one extreme case, a friend called up a neighbourhood drugstore from her office, ordered some pills and asked the shop to deliver the package to a neighbour so that she could swallow some as soon as she was in. Could it be a ‘sudden attack’ of some mysterious flu? Could be, in a few cases, but some therapists and workplace counsellors feel it is nothing more or less than a <keyword id="23666" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="40" keywordseo="stress">stress</keyword> attack at work – mostly triggered by seemingly inconsequential things that stress you out at the end of the day. 
 
To deal with after-work blues, check out these six things that could be hampering your feeling of well-being. 
 
Don’t skip food – it will suck you to the bottom 
Energy wise, that is, and it can very well affect your work. So get the basics right before it is too late. By basics, we mean basics – healthy food, lots of liquid and a few tea/coffee breaks in-between that should not mar your productivity, but will keep your energy up the whole day. It’s easier said than done, of course. Some crucial meeting may be scheduled during lunch and you could be grabbing some snacks (instead of a proper meal) as and when you get time. Worse still, some people sit hunched up all day – sipping coffee or cola as they work. Well, that’s not helping you exactly. 
 
Our body craves food when it is fill-in time and you are bound to snap up if you skip lunch regularly. But in case you can’t take a 30-45 minute break for lunch, here’s some sound suggestion. Just split it up, instead of eating in chunks. Try to have a quick and early lunch whenever it fits your schedule and give it another go around 3.30-4 pm. Also, get some nutritious cookies for healthy snacking if you are working late. And drink as much juice/water as you can. Once I came across a particularly busy executive who made it a habit to keep his glass filled and sipped it throughout the day. We can all follow suit without too much hassle. 
 
Get comfortable – your desk is your second home, after all 
All of us have come across those lost souls (even in big corporations) who spend a precious half hour in the morning looking for their ‘comfy’ chairs which seemed to have been spirited away by some malicious demon during the night. No matter what is offered to such a person, she will shake her head and tell you it’s definitely not her chair. A tussle with a fellow-worker is not unlikely either, both trying to establish their ownership. Or if it’s not the chair, it’s the air-conditioner (always too high or too low for comfort) or a dirty desk or something similar. 
 While most of us laugh derisively when we come across such things, it could indicate something more than mere whims. Are you ergonomically fitted out where you spend around eight hours a day, if not more? A well-lit, well-ventilated, not-too-cramped workstation is bound to keep you healthy and <keyword id="17573" type="PERSON" weightage="80" keywordseo="Happy">happy</keyword>. Report blinking lights and broken furniture as and when they occur and let plenty of fresh air in unless you are working in a centrally air-conditioned building. Dust could be another deterrent, especially for those suffering from some kind of allergy or other. Stick to a cleaning routine, take the junk out (right from old papers to useless gifts like a row of oversized mugs that you don’t plan to use) and make sure the place reflects your character and personality. A little green (a bottled plant or two or some fresh flowers), some funky or classic desk essentials and some human touch (can be a great poster or a funny quotation) will light up your day and those who visit you. 
 
As for me, I got fascinated when I watched a colleague drawing two soaring swans on her glass cabin door with a black marker. Even in a futuristic office, that rough sketch gives me a sense of freedom and space whenever I look at it. 
 
Nurture wellness – go walking, playing, gymming 
We tend to lose our health and wellness without noticing it at first, especially if we are in a ‘pressure cooker’ situation all the time and feel drained out at the end of the day. To help people out, most offices today come with a recreation room (some even have meditation/nap rooms, an IT professional working in Gurgaon told me), if not a full-blown gym. If you are one of the lucky few with a multi gym in office, congrats! But do make sure you have some expert help before attempting to take down those ungainly pounds and get some advice on the diet and duration of a fitness session. In case you are a first-timer, take it slow. You can’t really do too much, too soon, and need to invest a lot of time and patience to build stamina and strength. 
 
For those without such onsite facilities, there is always the age-old staircase and some brisk walking to your colleagues’ workstations, instead of chats and phone calls. One set of health-conscious people whom I knew made it a regular practice to walk to the bus stop in the evening which was some distance away. Walking that 1 km not only gave them some much-needed exercise, but helped them unwind as well, by talking things over and discussing several office issues. Start today and you will inevitably feel better after some sweat sessions. Because most of the time the lethargy is in the mind. As soon as you realise that you have come out of the rut and doing something effective about staying well, your body confidence returns and your energy level goes up, boosting your morale and your work, even if you don’t become size zero overnight. 
 
Stay productive – disruptions are exceptions, not rules People often fret how they happen to be behind work schedule and the backlog piles up – much to their horror. I distinctly remember a knowledge worker who went into severe <keyword id="6354802" type="PERSON" weightage="40" keywordseo="depression">depression</keyword> and fell physically ill because she was asked to churn out five articles a day and was in mortal fear of losing her job. If you are in a similar situation, stop ducking your manager’s salvoes and take control. 
 
One good strategy to remain focused throughout the day is to cut out on addictive social media, unproductive chats, unnecessary e-mail and time-consuming meetings. A more detailed weekly meeting, followed by a daily preview/review for 15-30 minutes should not only save time but keep things in order and the deadlines in view. Long water cooler side chats, frequent coffee breaks and venting your frustration through chain mail won’t help you either; so try and stay away from those. Once we manage to do away with disruptions, more productive time is bound to be on the cards. Some people even go to the extent of scheduling things out while wrapping up. Review what’s pending at the end of the day – so that you know what your priority is the morning after and start working on those as per your plans. 
 
But if you still feel you are overloaded or if you overwork yourself, try deputing work or talk to your colleagues, managers and people who matter in your project. Together, it is possible to usher in a collaborative solution and make sure that people can grow in a way they want to. 
 
Know what you’ve achieved – EACH day 
Some days feel like a total waste of time, mostly because we have had bitter altercations with colleagues or superiors. Or worse still, we have just done some routine work that does not have any relevance any more. A friend of mine had worked as an editorial production manager and the job required her maintaining a production sheet in Excel. She was compelled to accept the job as she had been laid off suddenly and had a family to support, but it was certainly not her cuppa and she rapidly lost interest in the job. 
 Thrust into a volatile <keyword id="34412" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="40" keywordseo="economy">economy</keyword> and faced with fast shrinking job opportunities, many of us try to go on board where they don’t belong and the outcome is a productivity and professional burnout, to say the least. Still, over a period of time, even a relevant career could be offering less value in terms of learning, growth and fulfilment. The reasons can be many – right from a change in the company’s core offerings to limited management vision that fails to offer horizontal growth. Talking to your manager could help, of course, but at times, it could be beyond your boss’s control. Simply put, there is no simple solution in such a case. 
 
If your work has become routine and doesn’t add much value to the company’s core, try developing some new skills and show your firm how you can reposition your profile along with the regular job. Most firms will be happy to recognise the extra efforts you are putting in. But in case you fail to get that adrenalin kick out of your work at the end of the day, it makes sense to look for a job that’s more of an intellectual, cultural and value fit. 
 
Stay hungry, drink deep – life’s fountain won’t ever dry up 
Finally, do not let your vision go. Even if you are beginning as an intern or rebuilding your skills from the scratch, it’s not impossible to become a member of Jeff Bezos’ two-pizza team (may not be at Amazon, of course, but every company has a core and creative team where decisions are made). In every organisation, at every level, you will come across a small, tight group who is making a conscious decision at a specific point of time. Feel inspired, get involved and put your expertise into action – you are bound to get noticed and feel valued. 
 And here’s one last piece of wisdom I got from a manager when I got laid off for the first time. You will be joining and leaving many more companies from now on – some you will leave on your own and others will let you go. But whatever that might be, learn from every situation (that one quality will be your lifeline) and when you leave, take the learning and leave the emotional baggage behind you. What matters most is your passion for the work and the value that work brings. Just remember that and let <keyword id="818790" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="40" keywordseo="the-rest">the rest</keyword> go, gracefully. As Jerome K. Jerome so sensibly wrote – throw the lumber over, man! At work, live life without angst or regret, and it gets better every day.

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