He called these errors made by jobseekers "Resumania" and encouraged
Below are some of the most ridiculous things they've seen in almost 50 years, published here as they appeared on the resumes:
OBJECTIVE:
"To secure a job or a career."
"To become a billionier."
"I aim to work with your organization. You will provide me with challenging tasks to perform in an efficient way and then reach the top and achieve the maximum out of the given opportunities enriching my strengths and beating all my weaknesses."
"I am seeking a permanent position to get out of debt."
"To find a challenging and rewarding job in a _______."
"I am looking for a challenging career where there is scope for ample demonstration because I am always on the lookout for a positive and bigger outlook, currency and ideas which thrive on imagination, passion and boundless curiosity and rigorous thinking."
"To be able to wear feathers to work. Appropriately, of course."
QUALIFICATIONS:
"I have some experience in the technology industry, but that was 20 years ago."
"I have incredibly entertaining hair."
EXPERIENCE:
"As an administrative professional, I coordinate meetings, make travel arrangements and assist security staff with badgering."
"Marketing assistant: When writing and editing actor bios for theater playbills, I had to explain to small-town actors that no one really cared that they had the starring role in things like Mrs. Smith's third-grade class rendition of Peter and the Pumpkin Patch."
"Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors."
"Plenty."
"Restaurant manager. Cleaned and supervised employees."
"More than seven (8) years of general experience, of which more than four (5) years is in analyzing, designing and testing client/server applications."
"I work in the store's men's department, stalking shirts and pants."
"Small family business that holds no potential. Owner and managers, my father and his brothers, have no business sense."
EDUCATION:
"Minor public relations."
"Attended collage courses."
"Trained in CPR and harassment."
"Took a specialty course titled How to Be Patient With an Impatient Boss."
ACCOMPLISHMENTS/AWARDS:
"Can run circles around my peers because I am not tethered to my phone, email, Facebook or any electronic device."
"My last client called me a god, so that was award enough."
"Dean's list in college; honor roll in high school, middle school and elementary school."
"Attained the rank of Eagle Scot."
"Achieved so many awards. I have brought home many first-, second- and third-place trophies."
"Numerous hardware and software certifications. I could wallpaper my entire bathroom with them, but my wife would kick me out if I did."
SKILLS:
"A lifetime of experience keeping track of time."
"Goog at computer work."
"The ability to use short bursts of muscle force to propel myself - as in jumping or sprinting or throwing an object."
"Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory."
INTERESTS/HOBBIES:
"Chess, soccer, cricket bowling."
"Michael Bolton."
"Gossiping."
"Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."